Single not always such a dirty word
By ERIKA LINDQUIST
The drama. The break-ups. The cheaters. The lies. The stress. Maybe the
grass really is greener on the single side.
When I first announced I was on a five-year plan of singleness at the
ripe age of 20, my mother was a little concerned. She thought I was a
bitter young lady who hated men.
Men were also concerned. In fact, I’ve been asked several times,
“Does that mean five years without sex?!”
My friends thought I was absolutely nuts. After all, you can’t put
a time frame on love, right?
I’m not bitter. I don’t hate men. I do want to fall in love
— someday. And um, don’t a lot of single people still have
sex?
It’s the women who feel incomplete without a man who inspired me
to do such a thing. It’s the women who would rather be in an abusive
relationship than possibly be alone (even if it’s just for a month)
that motivated me.
Let’s face it. Relationships are complicated. It’s easy to
get attached. And it’s easy to get burned. But most importantly,
it’s easy to lose focus on your own life.
So many women waste the days away drowned in thoughts of, “Is he
cheating? Where is he? Why hasn’t he called? Does he really love
me?” They forget to think about themselves.
It hurts when I see my own friends go through this, too, constantly analyzing
every speck of evidence to determine whether or not their boyfriends really
do love them.
My five-year plan is a test. Am I confident enough to know my self-worth
doesn’t change with or without a man? Am I strong enough not to
settle for someone I don’t want? Am I ambitious enough to stay focused
on my life goals?
So, why five years? Why not just one or two years to pass the test? Well,
it’s already been two. I’m still not ready. In fact, between
school, two jobs and my hobbies, it’s virtually impossible to even
have time for a boyfriend.
I’m also a strong believer in being friends with a guy first. Imagine
how much emotional stress one could have saved knowing the other person’s
flaws before committing.
The man of my dreams will not only be friends with me until the end of
my five-year-plan, he will also know exactly what he’s committing
to and vice versa.
The countdown in my cell phone says I have exactly 1,200 days left. “Wow,
time really flies by,” is the first thing that comes to my mind.
There’s still so much more I want to accomplish, in fact, that I
may need to extend my plan.
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