Single not always such a dirty word

By ERIKA LINDQUIST

The drama. The break-ups. The cheaters. The lies. The stress. Maybe the grass really is greener on the single side.

When I first announced I was on a five-year plan of singleness at the ripe age of 20, my mother was a little concerned. She thought I was a bitter young lady who hated men.

Men were also concerned. In fact, I’ve been asked several times, “Does that mean five years without sex?!”

My friends thought I was absolutely nuts. After all, you can’t put a time frame on love, right?

I’m not bitter. I don’t hate men. I do want to fall in love — someday. And um, don’t a lot of single people still have sex?

It’s the women who feel incomplete without a man who inspired me to do such a thing. It’s the women who would rather be in an abusive relationship than possibly be alone (even if it’s just for a month) that motivated me.

Let’s face it. Relationships are complicated. It’s easy to get attached. And it’s easy to get burned. But most importantly, it’s easy to lose focus on your own life.

So many women waste the days away drowned in thoughts of, “Is he cheating? Where is he? Why hasn’t he called? Does he really love me?” They forget to think about themselves.

It hurts when I see my own friends go through this, too, constantly analyzing every speck of evidence to determine whether or not their boyfriends really do love them.

My five-year plan is a test. Am I confident enough to know my self-worth doesn’t change with or without a man? Am I strong enough not to settle for someone I don’t want? Am I ambitious enough to stay focused on my life goals?

So, why five years? Why not just one or two years to pass the test? Well, it’s already been two. I’m still not ready. In fact, between school, two jobs and my hobbies, it’s virtually impossible to even have time for a boyfriend.

I’m also a strong believer in being friends with a guy first. Imagine how much emotional stress one could have saved knowing the other person’s flaws before committing.

The man of my dreams will not only be friends with me until the end of my five-year-plan, he will also know exactly what he’s committing to and vice versa.

The countdown in my cell phone says I have exactly 1,200 days left. “Wow, time really flies by,” is the first thing that comes to my mind. There’s still so much more I want to accomplish, in fact, that I may need to extend my plan.