I am an electrical engineering student at Fresno State, which means I have spent the last few years doing extremely difficult work that I cannot explain to anyone, including myself.

I am graduating in Spring 2026 with my bachelor’s degree, which sounds impressive until you realize I still cannot clearly explain what engineering actually is.

People love asking what engineering is. And I love not having an answer.

At some point early in my degree, I learned that the correct strategy is to speak confidently and hope no one asks any questions. I say things like “it’s complex math and science” or “I work with systems,” which are both technically true and completely wrong.

If someone presses further, I start mentioning words like circuits, Python code or app design until they either nod politely or change the subject.

Most of my understanding of engineering exists in fragments. I know how to solve specific problems if you give me enough time and a YouTube video. I can follow the steps really well. I can debug things that are broken. I can stare at something long enough that it somehow just starts working.

What I cannot do is step back and explain what any of this actually means.

This becomes especially obvious at family gatherings. Someone will ask what I’m studying, and I’ll say “electrical engineering,” which immediately raises expectations. Suddenly, I’m supposed to fix everyone’s electronics, explain how buildings stand up and create new technology that will fix all the issues in the world.

I cannot do any of those things.

Instead, I spend most of my time learning concepts that feel just out of reach, completing assignments that make sense only after I finish them and convincing myself that this is all building toward something coherent. There is always a sense that if I just take one more class, everything will finally click.

It never does. The material just gets more and more and more specific.

At this point, I’ve accepted that engineering is less about fully understanding everything and more about becoming comfortable with not understanding things right away. It’s figuring things out as you go, solving problems you’ve never seen before and hoping your solution will eventually work.

And somehow, that’s considered a skill.

So yes, I am an engineer. I’ve done the classes, passed the exams and survived the group projects. I can build things, test things and sometimes make things work.

Just don’t ask me what engineering is.

I’m still trying to figure that out, too.