Random Thoughts

By Nyrie Karkazian & Jenna Nielsen
The Collegian

It’s that time of year again…back to school.

After a long summer of enjoying a break from classes, you may have forgotten a few things about coming back to campus. So here are some helpful tips on things to avoid on your first day of school.

Don’t plan on arriving on campus five minutes before your class starts and getting that front row parking spot in Q. In fact, don’t plan on coming to campus five minutes before your class starts and finding parking anywhere. You should arrive at least two days early because everyone knows that trying to get a parking spot the first week is like checking into the airport or putting yourself in a BattleBots competition. So if it’s Monday and you’re reading this, you should have been here Saturday morning.

While we’re on the subject of parking, ladies (and maybe some men) when those notorious guys (you know who they are) come by in their oversized van with tinted windows and try to offer you a “ride” to your car in the parking lot…do not go with them! We did that once and lived to tell about it, but that’s just us. We probably got lucky.

After excessive partying over the summer, your body probably contains the percentage of alcohol it should contain in water. This does not mean, however, that you should go to The Pub and consume five 12oz. before classes just because you made it to work at 8:00 a.m. every morning after staying out all night.

If you did not read the above, and now have 2 minutes to make it to your class and are in dire need to use the bathroom like never before. Whatever you do, do not use the bathrooms in IT or the USU. You will be waiting in a line like Disneyland to enter something that smells like the Fresno Fair.

If it’s between the hours of 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. and you’re hungry, do not choose any of the restaurants in The Pit for your dining needs. It will be packed with people (including swarms of University High kids). But, hey, we’ve heard there are some edible plants near the Thomas Administration Building.

If you need to wait in the financial aid line for any reason, don’t plan on attending your classes the first day of school. We mean the first week of school. Here’s a mental picture…imagine a hoard of Star Wars nerds camping out for the first midnight showing. Except no one is running around dressed as Jar Jar Binks.

Don’t buy textbooks. Take classes with all your friends and borrow the books right before every test. We know a guy who did it last semester and got a 3.6 (By the way Eddie, you still Jenna 60 bucks).