Caped man flees police, provides relief from today's boring crime

The Misanthrope by ETHAN CHATAGNIER

A caped crusader led police on a two-hour high-speed chase through LA last Tuesday, before he was finally captured at a doughnut shop. The would-be superhero, one Michael San Tiang, dangled his purple cape out the window and at points in the chase even climbed most of the way out himself.

The car belonged to the man’s parents, and his crime was vandalizing his parents’ house — not the usual crime that inspires someone to flee the cops. But the chase was definitely inspired. Beyond his unusual garb, there were also reports of him leaning out of the car window to blow kisses at the helicopters following him.

This incident reminds me of an old lament of mine. Criminals in our society just don’t have a sense of showmanship. It’s perhaps a consequence of growing up in the comic book generation, but I like to see a certain amount of flamboyance from a lawbreaker.

In the comic books, villains actually get ready for their crimes. The Joker puts on his makeup, the Green Goblin his body armor and Charleston Chairface — well, his face is a chair. That’s good grandstanding.

Usually our real life crooks don’t have a plan, don’t have a crew of thugs in matching outfits, and hardly ever use the media to taunt authorities. Am I the only one bored by this trend of silence or penitence?

Society has its charismatic heroes, but without some likable bad guys, the struggle doesn’t have much punch. So don’t be another cog in the wheel of modern crime.

Next time you plan to be a menace, don’t forget your tights.