See how much of a difference a beard makes

Infotainment by LUKE MORITZ

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been growing a beard, and the whole facial hair thing has got me thinking about the deeper issues involved with having facial hair.

Now, I know you are thinking that facial hair’s biggest thing going for it is that it can make a guy stunningly good-looking. I used to think this was the only thing facial hair could do for me and am once again starting to think this is the case.

Take a look at the World Beard and Mustache championships that are being held in Berlin this October. There are some pretty crazy facial-hairdos in that competition.

Because I am a Canadian, my beard and mustache combo makes me look like a rugged lumberjack — at least this is what I hear. But that is all image, I have never actually chopped down a tree.

I imagine if I keep this look going for very much longer, I will have some knocks on my door from the neighbors for help with that large tree in their yard.

There is a myth that facial hair is useful for keeping the head warm, but after enduring many a cold Canadian winter while observing “No-Shave” November, I have found that the face will still get cold.

Besides, women live in cold climates too, and unless they get close and cuddle with their man, facial hair is not helping them, either.

Then there is the issue of using a beard to store food after a meal. While eating cookies, crumbs can be placed strategically in the beard and taken out later for a post-meal snack.

There are two problems with this idea. First, only crumbs can be kept in the facial hair and this is not enough to feed a man. Second, having a beard full of crumbs ruins the good-looking nature of the beard.

This leaves us with the lone reason for having facial hair: looking snazzy. Even though having a beard may bring many requests for ax and saw work, it gives you a great chance to look rough and tough.

In the end, that is really the only reason for having facial hair. Beards can be very intriguing, and the ladies are often willing to rub your facial hair for good luck. Everyone should give facial hair a shot, so they can see the benefits themselves. Of course, that is just my opinion.