All serious, all business
Multi-tasking angry man Henry Rollins takes a no-holds-barred approach
to his spoken word college tour
By NYRIE KARKAZIAN
As the lights went out in the Satellite Student Union Tuesday night,
Henry Rollins took the stage and was welcomed by a wave of cheers.
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Hours before going on stage to perform his “Shock &
Awe My Ass” spoken word college tour on Tuesday at the Satellite
Student Union, self-proclaimed angry man Henry Rollins lounges backstage.
Photo by Joseph Hollak |
He stood with nothing more than a microphone in his hand and immediately
filled the room with his headstrong and tenacious attitude. His hilarious
remarks and eccentric demeanor also drew the audience in for his “Shock
& Awe My Ass” spoken word college tour show.
Rollins began speaking of how women strive so hard to look perfect. He
said all you need is blonde hair, blue contacts and to eradicate your
mind of any useful information, and it will turn you into Paris Hilton.
As for men, they are not excluded from this “am I hott-ius”
attitude, Rollins said. “All I need is this (bar of soap), a razor
and a gun,” Rollins quipped. “My man boobs aren't big enough.”
Rollins described himself as a very angry person, to the point where he
wakes up every morning with endless hatred and asks himself, “How
do I do it?” He answered: “I don't know, but may it never
end," he said, while flipping off the crowd. “I'm a lean, mean,
pissed-off, information vacuuming machine.”
As he went into an intricate account of what kind of person he is, he
said he would rather be working than spending time with himself.
This, being the worst punishment he could think of, compelled him to buy
a ticket on a Trans-Siberian, seven-day ride from Russia to Siberia. He
told of his experience in the microscopic space he occupied during that
week, his encounter with a short and stout woman who screamed at him in
Russian and the food that made him vomit, leaving no detail behind.
He went on to other topics such as President Bush, Sen. John Kerry and
the recent death of Pope John Paul II. After making these comments, Rollins
reassured the audience that he is, in fact, very pro-American.
“The Ramones and P-Funk come from here; that’s all you need
to know,” Rollins said.
Rollins screamed into the microphone as he told detailed stories about
cab drivers, vomiting and utilitarianism. After naming Los Angeles as
the city of intellectual vacuum and breast augmentation, he said most
people should be spending their time wisely rather than doing drugs or
anything that affects the mind of the well informed.
“People are water skiing when they should be hating the president’s
guts,” Rollins said.
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