The New Hotness

Illustration by Zon Petilla

By Chhun Sun
Columnist

Yakima is boring. The small central Washington town where I spent the past summer working for the newspaper didn’t have much excitement for a guy like me, whose definition of perfect serenity is the sight of tall buildings illuminated at night.

So when I drove through the main intersection of town one hot afternoon and saw a group of girls in bathing suits luring in people for a free car wash, I got excited. I forced a dangerous U-turn, almost injuring Jasmine, my at-the-time-very-dirty Honda Civic.

I parked my car, got out and then just sat on a curb, watching the girls carefully to make sure they didn’t scratch my car. Well, they finished in less than five minutes. I didn’t see much of a difference, but that didn’t matter because I was helping out their cause. They were raising money for … umm, actually, I don’t remember.

“Your car’s done,” one of the girls said to me.

I said nothing.

“Nice pink shirt. So, models wanted, huh?” she said, referring to the text on my hot pink T-shirt.

I smiled. “Yeah, it’s pink,” I said, immediatly wanting to kick myself in the butt for not having something clever in return.

I handed her a $10 donation and drove off with the urge to drive my car into the nearest telephone pole.

Despite another missed opportunity, the incident was the birth of knowing that my T-shirt has a special power. Bought at American Eagle Outfitters for less than $4, the shirt became my favorite T-shirt from that point on. Every time I wear the shirt, I get a reaction, either from friends or strangers.

And no, the shirt is not a ploy to attract model-like women. It’s a conversation ..starter. So much so that I now have stock comebacks.

“Why? Are you interested?”

“Yeah. I’ll make sure I put your application on top of the pile.”

Most recently, one of my male professors noticed the words on the shirt and said, “So, models wanted, huh?” But I refrained from saying, “Why? Are you interested?”

And I do not wear my favorite shirt at every occasion. It’s like having a hot car. You don’t drive it every day for fear of people being used to it.

The shirt is so special that in my closet, it hangs all by itself at one end while my other shirts are bunched up together at the other. I’m also thinking about washing and drying it alone, to keep it from getting violated by other articles of clothing.

But it’s getting smaller. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting bigger, or, quite possibly, the many cycles it has gone through in the wash has caused major shrinkage, like a guy taking a really cold shower.

Maybe I just need to send it into early retirement. I could put it in a large picture frame or I can hang it from my ceiling like a championship banner, which will include the number of reactions it prompted sewn into it.

Or maybe not.

Chhun Sun is a senior majoring in Mass Communication and Journalism.
The New Hotness is a featured column that runs every Friday in The Collegian.
E-mail this columnist at [email protected].