The greatness of spring sports

The Collegian's Sports Editors engage in a battle of wits for the spring sports season

Jeff Christian: Men’s and women’s golf.

Darrell Copeland III: What about it, Jeff?

JC: Did you get your season tickets yet?

DC3: Huh? Do they even have season tickets for golf?

JC: Not yet, but this is the season where attendance is finally gonna break through.

DC3: What are you even talking about? Have you even been out to a Fresno State golf tournament yet? As a matter of fact, why did you even bring up men’s and women’s golf?

JC: It sounded intriguing, and I was contemplating offering my caddying services for this semester.

DC3: You read that Jennifer Shipley feature we did for our last issue didn’t you? We want our team to be good Jeff, please stay away.

JC: Darrell, you’re probably right, both teams are in contention for a WAC Conference Championship this season.

DC3: OK Mr. Look at everything with the glass half full. By the way, I agree.

JC: Yeah, it’s about time our students take notice that we have a golf team.

DC3: Where are you on that one REDZONE? There’s nothing like a little drive down Highway 41 for a dog tag swipe at Riverbend Golf Course.

JC: What about the equestrian ladies? They could use some REDZONE love too. Why aren’t students gathering to see it? It’s girls on jumping horses. Equestrian is hard work, and I think they feed the horses themselves. Where’s the love?

DC3: In this day and age, it must be all about saving the horse and riding the cowboy. At least that’s what I’ve heard. Don’t kill the messenger.

DC3: I don’t know what they’re feeding them, but have you seen any of those stallions recently? They walk across Barstow Avenue you know. Don’t quote me on this, but I thought only Barry Bonds got a free pass to use the cream and the clear. In all seriousness, these ladies make us proud by contending for a national championship every season. Can’t nobody figure eight with us!

JC: If you’re going to mention national championship contention, look no further than Bulldog Diamond, the home of the 1998 softball champions. Legendary coach Margie Wright always has her gals geared up for a trip to Oklahoma City.

DC3: Lets just hope the Diamond ’Dogs across the street can accumulate enough maturity to accompany the top 25 talent that coach Mike Batesole brings in every year. It would be nice to see the upperclassmen bring home some national hardware on their way to the big leagues.

JC: What’s that guy’s name who shouts at the games?

DC3: Sugar Bear. For your safety Jeff, and everyone of our loyal readers, be aware of the superhuman gripping capacity that Ol’ Sug’ possesses. The guy can flat out squeeze a hand after throwing a few back.

JC: All I’m saying is if Brandon Burke and the rest of the pitching staff have the same level of stamina as Sugar Bear, they’ll be just fine.

DC3: That’s funny, the same can be said for the track and field team, except for those guys that just have to spin and throw the shot put.

JC: Since Fresno State sports are sponsored by Nike, does that mean all of the runners get free shoes and iPods?

DC3: That’s about enough free publicity for Nike, Jeff. What are we, some kind of charity? Those shoes do look comfy though.

JC: That’s because I use them to play tennis, just not quite as good as our No. 4 ranked Melanie Gloria. If Dick Vitale were here, he would call her a “diaper dandy” and a “PTPer.”

DC3: Gloria may get all the publicity, but all of those foreign players out on the court have quite a bit of game.

JC: Regardless, looks like all of us Fresno State students should be going through the turn styles quite a bit this year. Especially with men’s and women’s golf.

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