Anti-literacy movement: a worthy cause?
One man's struggle to counter a culture of consumerism, repression
Scourge & Minister
Matt Gomes |
IT WOULD SERVE me well if you did not read the following:
It was late last Thursday evening and I was exploring the vast “series of tubes” that is the Internet in search of some material that I might use as a sort of springboard for an introductory column- — this very column — when I stumbled across an article by outspoken critic of public education Dr. Samuel L. Blumenfeld, citing a report by the National Center of Education Statistics.
The report indicates that approximately 31 percent of college graduates are able to read and comprehend what Blumenfeld refers to as “complex” prose. Naturally, I was, as Blumenfeld must have been, shocked.
As Blumenfeld’s argument continues, however, it moves quickly towards his apparent topic-of-favor — home schooling — and the article quickly devolves into a run-of-the-mill conservative diatribe against the evils of public education.
One particularly vitriolic passage reads “immoral liberal-socialist unqualified-teacher-hiring God-hating communist flag-burning…” before presumably sputtering out a noun on the next page.
As an aside, this is my introductory column, so it might be a worthwhile and suitably introductory thing to indicate that I do not consider myself conservative — indeed, when I created my Facebook profile, I marked my “Political Views” box as “liberal.” I don’t remember if I knew the difference then, but I’m certainly too lazy to change it now.
After giving up on Blumenfeld’s article, I began wondering: I don’t like illiteracy, but why does it make conservatives so upset? Should it? Do liberals get this bent out of shape about literacy? In fact, if conservatives hate illiteracy so much, shouldn’t we like it a little bit?
In the name of good old-fashioned partisanship then, consider this my response: We, as a nation, need to wake up to the cold reality that literacy simply is not for everyone.
And so, I now consider myself a proud member of the anti-literacy movement.
I know it isn’t a popular position (indeed, up until very recently, I, too, was adamantly pro-reading), so I asked around about ways I might back myself up on this issue. I called an old high school friend of mine — “Stephanie,” I asked her, “Do you have any arguments in favor of illiteracy?”
She immediately responded “Definitely,” and after a short pause, “Ayn Rand.”
I proceeded to Roll On the Floor with Laughter and then thanked her for her help. My friend Stephanie is a 24-carat comedic gem.
Of course, on top of Rand’s writing, one look at the price tag on her books should be enough to convince anybody, regardless of political affiliation, that reading just might not be worth it.
A paperback copy of the 35th anniversary edition of “Atlas Shrugged” sells on Amazon for $13.60- — without shipping (though it is eligible for FREE SUPER SAVER SHIPPING on orders over $25, which strongly encourages buyers purchasing another book, though I would recommend instead giving Steven Seagal’s album “Songs from the Crystal Cave” a spin).
This is well under the retail price of the book, $20, which means, of course, that should you ever need to purchase the book at Kennel Bookstore, you’d likely be looking at paying upwards of $60.
They won’t buy it back, either.
Furthermore, it seems like we waste a lot of effort in trying to promote literacy among those who are quite simply way past their prime, when instead, we could be using that energy to keep the illiterate from feeling like marginalized members of society.
Personally, for the next column, I would love to hear and respond to any stories from readers who have learned to overcome the oppression of the reading majority and embrace their illiteracy.
If you must read, though, I recommend “Busy Fingers” by C. W. Bowie, which should be engaging enough even for the other 69 percent.
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