Anti-dopers are dopes

Hath-Time By Nathan Hathaway

Good news. Olympians can drink as much Coke as they want. They will also be allowed to treat a common cold.

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA), the organization that regulates legal substances among athletes in worldwide competition, released a revised list of banned substances Wednesday. Caffeine and pseudoephedrine, found in the over-the-counter decongestant Sudafed, were dropped from the list. They’re OK. Now sprinter Marion Jones can have a few cups of coffee before the 200-meter dash.

Medically, caffeine is a cardiac stimulant. Through a long and complicated series of physiological reactions, caffeine causes the body to release adrenaline. The heart starts beating faster, pumping more blood to the muscles. The liver releases sugar for extra energy. The breathing tubes open up, making it easier to get oxygen. An advantage? Doesn’t sound at all like caffeine would give athletes an edge. Unless you consider blood flow, oxygen and a boost of energy advantages.

Pseudoephedrine is also a stimulant. Its primary function is as a decongestant. It relieves inflammation of the nasal passages, opens them up. So you can breathe easier. More oxygen. Advantage.

Pseudoephedrine is also a precursor to speed, Fresno pharmacist Michael Winton said. Meth labs use it as a building block in making methamphetamines.

“ I’ve been told it feels like you’re just jumping out of your skin,” Winton said. “(Athletes) are using these things as stimulants, so it would probably speed them up.”

Also dropped from the banned list was phenylpropanolamine (PPA), another minor stimulant. PPA was the No. 1 ingredient in many over-the-counter appetite suppressants before the Food and Drug Administration took steps to remove it from all drug products in 2000. The FDA made its decision and issued a public health advisory when a Yale study found that PPA was linked to an increased risk of cerebral hemorrhage. Sounds totally harmless.

Both caffeine—in substantial amounts—and PPA are on the list of substances banned by the NCAA.

Still on the list of banned substances is cannabis (marijuana), which Winton said would have absolutely no effect on an athlete’s ability to perform.

Added to the list by name was Modafinil, which gained notoriety last month when American sprinter Kelli White tested positive after she won the 100 and 200 at the World Championships in Paris.

The evil Modafinil is used in patience with narcolepsy, a sleeping disorder. According to a 1991 abstract from a U.S. Air Force medical journal, Modafinil (brand name: Provigil) is “a novel stimulant which has several remarkable features that distinguish it from other stimulants. Yeah, it’s distinguished by it’s main purpose—to keep you awake. Not get high. Not run fast. Not jump farther. Stay awake. How dare the WADA force athletes to sleep when they don’t want to.

With all this adding, subtracting and square rooting they’ve been doing to the banned list, you have to wonder if the World Doping Agency itself isn’t on dope.