Living alone is the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I decided that I was going to move into a house by myself at 20 years old. I blew up my life. Within a two-month time period, I quit my job and started a new one where I didn’t know anyone, moved to a new town and had a falling out with my best friend at the time. I felt alone.
At first, I was excited for a fresh start. I could decorate however I wanted. When I came home, everything was exactly how I left it. I could do whatever I wanted, judgment free. But after the first few months, it wasn’t all I had cracked it up to be.
If something broke, I had to fix it. I learned to become handy with a drill. I had to do all the chores by myself. Going out of town was difficult because I had to find someone to watch my dogs. I didn’t have anyone to share the burdens of life with.
Also, being a woman who lives alone is scary in itself. There is always this constant paranoia of, “How am I going to survive if someone breaks into the house? What if something happens to me? How long will it take for someone to realize I’m gone?” Unfortunately, those questions always live in the back of my mind.
The worst part was how lonely I got. After a weekend with friends or other social activities, I would come home to a quiet, empty house and just sob. I was grieving socialization.
I live in the country, about 45 minutes from school, work, friends and family. It was difficult to get friends to come visit me because of the distance. That was hard for me because I finally had a home I could host and share — and it was empty.
My house didn’t feel like a home for a while. I hadn’t decorated because I was a broke college student who couldn’t go on an all-out shopping spree at HomeGoods. 
But it was the little things that started to make my house feel like home. Sitting on my patio with a fire burning and watching the sun set is one of my favorite things. I learned to enjoy the world around me rather than being materialistic.
People say you get a little weird living by yourself — it’s true. I eventually learned to embrace it. I have conversations with my pets, I take naps whenever I want and yes, I’ve walked around naked.
Music was one of the things that saved me. It eliminates the quiet. I have music on 24/7, and I dance around the house singing along with the speakers at full volume.
Living alone definitely took a toll on my mental health. It’s basic biology; humans crave social interaction. But this experience has taught me more than I ever could have imagined. I learned to be comfortable with myself and embrace my personality.
Looking at my life now, I am grateful. It’s truly rewarding looking at the life and the home I’ve built for myself.
