If telephone, the beloved childhood game, taught us anything, it’s that gossip is a comically unreliable and sometimes malicious way to gather and spread information.
But a recent discussion in The Collegian office led me to ponder the true morality and potential variants of gossip. My colleagues and I all seem to have slightly different ideas about what does and doesn’t constitute this unavoidable, sometimes addictive style of communication.
What we do know is that gossip crawls from person-to-person around every workplace, every friend group and even every family. It has the ability to both break people apart and bring them closer together.
My biggest question is, is gossip really all that bad? Is it possible that gossip is just a grossly overestimated umbrella term for normal human coping mechanisms? 
I’m here to settle it, once and for all, and I say there’s a difference between true gossip and its subcategory, a mere debrief session, which everyone needs.
Let me explain.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines gossip as “rumors or information about the behavior or personal lives of other people.”
As a woman who’s existed in many different gossip-rich communities, this definition only partially fits what I’ve been exposed to, and admittedly, occasionally participated in.
Before we fully delve into this, let’s establish one thing. For those of you silently thinking, ‘wow, this girl probably can’t keep her mouth shut,’ I encourage you to recall an iconic scene from the 2004 movie “White Chicks,” when the characters Brittany and Tiffany Wilson exchange the following lines:
“You were thinking it.”
“Yeah, but you said it.”
I love this scene, because it’s so true. Everyone gossips or has gossiped in one way or another, granted some more than others, so let’s all get off our high horses. This is serious business.
I don’t think that Merriam-Webster did the definition of gossip enough justice, because so much is ironically left undefined and unexplained. For example, I consider rumor-spreading to be downright bullying, and I also think this goes hand-in-hand with meddling in people’s personal lives.
However, is it so wrong to simply discuss a situation that happened with trusted confidants, which inevitably brings into question the behavior of others? And can that even be considered gossip?
There are some key differences to note here between debriefing and gossiping.
When someone engages in a debrief session, they probably aren’t going into it with the intention of ruining someone’s social standing, hurting them or influencing other people’s views on them.
They simply need to discuss a situation that happened and break it down in a way that they can understand and cope with. Debrief sessions usually, and should, occur with trusted friends and family to avoid gossip accusations, because it can start to teeter fast.
I don’t think there’s a single thing wrong with simply talking about a difficult circumstance, and if there was, therapy wouldn’t be considered a professional and legitimate career.
On the other hand, someone partaking in gossip probably either deliberately wants to “ruin” someone, like a classic Blair Waldorf situation in “Gossip Girl,” or it comes from the subconscious.
These conditions also vary heavily based on the people one surrounds themself with. Personally, I can only speak to the female experience, which, in my opinion, is much richer with “gossip” than what I’ve observed in male spaces.
I find that some men simply don’t enjoy gossip to the same degree, or if they do enjoy it, it doesn’t serve as a near-fundamental for certain conversations. Before you get upset at me for generalizing, please note the use of the word “some.”
For those who might not understand where my passion comes from on this topic, I’ve come up with what I believe to be a solid comparison.
A girly walk-and-talk debriefing session with an overpriced coffee is the equivalent of a late-night gaming session with the “bros.”
Both experiences enrich our social lives and release dopamine, therefore making both essential to our sense of fulfillment in life.
But let me be clear, I’m only referring here to debriefing as a positive, necessary social interaction, a mere extending branch of the larger gossip tree.
Here’s the bottom line: True, antagonistic gossip, the gossip that lives in the trunk of the tree, should probably stay on our list of foes.
I’m glad we got that sorted out.
Professionally Unprofessional is a recurring Collegian column by Anahid Valencia, a second-year student pursuing a career in journalism.
