Dating apps absolutely SUCK. 

They are a disappointing and flawed system. Just because your notifications are lighting your phone up like a Christmas tree doesn’t mean any of them are going to be what you’re looking for.

Some people don’t care for online dating, often keeping it in the background just to see who is also in the dating scene. Some may use it to find a life partner and a genuine connection, while others simply want to participate in hookup culture. 

Busy and complicated lives combined with a lack of social spaces can make it hard to meet people in person. Preference features on these apps can narrow down potential matches by relationship status, age, interests, sexual orientation and more. 

However, these benefits can only go so far and very rarely succeed at what they were designed to do. 

I found out the hard way that they can be intense sources of anxiety and apathy, and a drain on your emotional capacity, with predatory monetary features behind paywalls that promise infinite options and the perfect match. 

Since graduating high school in 2022, I have used dating apps on and off for over a year. 

Within that time, I was enticed by short dopamine bursts and the idea of being exposed to a multitude of possible partners. 

During my time on these platforms, my experience was not black and white.

Sometimes I would get a moderate amount of matches on more than one app and be excited to talk to new people.

For a time, it was fun believing I was able to finally participate in this part of the adult world. However, I would come to dread responding to these new people. 

It almost became a chore to open the app when I had a notification, just to claim that short dopamine rush. 

The immense apathy I developed over time led me to be more and more dissatisfied with the people I would match with.

When I did end up meeting people, it was mostly negative, with the experience of being catfished having a great effect on me. 

Being stood up by someone who you thought was someone else entirely is a defeating experience, which can cause a severe distrust toward people you meet in the future. 

To be disrespected like that is depressing, frustrating, uncomfortable and for many people, it can be dangerous to meet a complete stranger who purposely hides their true self from you. 

Building a connection with someone online, although through screens, is an intimate experience when it works out. However, your perception of how deceptive people can really be is shattered under the emotional weight of being catfished.

I am not alone either, with 54% of online daters believing they were presented with false information on these apps, and at least 10% of new accounts on these apps are fake. 

On the other hand, many times I got no matches; endlessly swiping just to find someone to talk to, dealing a blow to my self-esteem and confidence. 

Comparison is the thief of joy, and unfortunately, the perceived lack of interest toward you can make you believe you might not be good enough when your mind is largely inexperienced and impressionable. 

Film and media arts major Matthew Rodriguez agrees. He said that, from a man’s point of view, seeing all of these faces and not one liking you back can be depressing. 

“I would never recommend a dating app because I wouldn’t want anybody’s psyche to go through that,” Rodriguez said. 

These aren’t isolated experiences either. Men on dating apps are often dissatisfied with their lack of matches, with 54% of men receiving too few messages, compared to 27% of women. 

“It feels kind of like gatekeeping in a way,” Rodriguez said. 

Men, more often than women, resort to paying for premium features and subscriptions on otherwise free apps. These additional features enable a gambling-like aspect to the online dating scene, with the promise of succeeding in finding that perfect person if you just spend more money. 

Rodriguez feels it’s like paying for tiers of socializing with people, especially when some dating apps offer features costing upward of $50 or more. 

“Terrible, terrible, terrible, dystopian even,” Rodriguez said.

But even with all these negative aspects, some good things can come out of online dating.

A recent relationship of mine that lasted a year and a half was because of a dating app, and it was a great experience. 

Other situations that turned out well introduced me to people who were simply great to meet for the time. 

It’s important to note that these experiences were very rare occurrences.

That being said, I feel everyone should try things once and feel free to explore their options, as nothing is absolute. I am only one person, and I experienced something that did not work for me, but it’s possible to work for someone more suited for that online environment. 

However, I do not recommend these platforms.

Though there are Americans who used a dating site in the past year and had a positive experience, 42% were left frustrated with theirs, and for good reason.