Over the past few years, I̢۪ve started to notice couples are starting to marry at younger and younger ages. Now marrying age has fallen into the realm of college students, and the trend to marry young has hit Fresno State.
Last week, two upperclassman friends of mine got married. Two other couples I know got married last summer. The brides in both couples were 21 at the time. And it seems like every month, more and more of my friends’ sisters announce they’re engaged and start planning their weddings. Slowly but surely, for many college students, the question of “to marry, or not to marry?â€Â is shifting to “to marry now or later?â€Â
For graduate student Lauren Lieder, who married a year ago at age 21, the decision to marry immediately following her completion of undergrad was a faith-based decision. “We both prayed about it a lot, and realized that God was laying it out in front of us,â€Â she said. “Our relationship was always very much based on faith.â€Â
Such successful marriages for those who marry before age 25 are few and far between. The National Institute of Mental Health and the UCLA Neuro-Imaging Laboratory conducted a study last year that determined that most people reach full intellectual maturity at age 25. The study held that teenagers and young adults make important decisions with underdeveloped parts of the brain, which explains why high school and college students are more likely to take bigger risks than most adults over 25.
Blogspot.com took a recent poll, with the results that about 3 percent of people in the United States think that the ages of 18-22 are the ideal ages to marry. Many studies have documented that couples who marry before age 20 are three times more likely to divorce than couples who marry in their late 20s and 30s. When it comes to financial matters, almost 30 percent of 18-22-year-olds are uninsured, and the rate is likely to go down if they̢۪re married. They̢۪re also less likely to be well-educated. Overall, the statistics paint a pretty bleak picture.
However, young married couples I go to school with are unlike what the statistics portray. I know five married couples who are also students, and all of them are honors students who are either still working towards their bachelor̢۪s degrees or they̢۪re in grad school. They all cite the faith they grew up with in the Central Valley as their main reason for choosing to marry young. Obviously, whoever conducted all those studies never met these kids.
When I started college a year ago, I didn̢۪t expect to meet so many people who would decide to marry as young as 21, or in one notable (and romantic) instance, 19. The irresistible pull of settling with someone special must be very tempting indeed, and many of my friends, who remain unmarried, are one by one starting to find the people they will eventually settle down with one day. This is college, after all. They do say this is when it starts to happen. So for those of you still looking for that special someone: Happy searching.
Katie • Oct 8, 2009 at 7:56 am
I can’t believe these negative comments… Though I agree that getting married younger does carry more risk then choosing to marry older, it really just depends on the people. Anyone can make a marriage work if they build their relationship on trust, courtesy and shared goals. I got married when I was 19 GASP!!! after dating my future husband for only 1 year. He was 25 when we got married. Although I never planned on getting married at such a young age, I couldn’t be happier. He is my best friend… We have been happily married for going on 5 years and BOTH of us finished college during this time and graduated Summa Cum Laude. We now both have successful careers and are planning to start a family in the next year or two.
Marriage takes work and if you are not willing to put in that work, then you are all right. No one, regardless of age, should get married if they lack the maturity to realize that marriage is not a fairy tale and that it takes work to be happy. It was the best decision I ever made and I would make it a thousand times over.
Katie • Oct 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I can’t believe these negative comments… Though I agree that getting married younger does carry more risk then choosing to marry older, it really just depends on the people. Anyone can make a marriage work if they build their relationship on trust, courtesy and shared goals. I got married when I was 19 GASP!!! after dating my future husband for only 1 year. He was 25 when we got married. Although I never planned on getting married at such a young age, I couldn’t be happier. He is my best friend… We have been happily married for going on 5 years and BOTH of us finished college during this time and graduated Summa Cum Laude. We now both have successful careers and are planning to start a family in the next year or two.
Marriage takes work and if you are not willing to put in that work, then you are all right. No one, regardless of age, should get married if they lack the maturity to realize that marriage is not a fairy tale and that it takes work to be happy. It was the best decision I ever made and I would make it a thousand times over.
jennifer • Oct 7, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Actually people are now getting married older and older not younger. That is a fact and this article is incorrect. It was very common in the past for people to get married at 18 and below. The new trend is to wait until you are older at say 21. 21 is not young, it is old compared to the age of past marriages. When I was in high school a lot of couples I went to school with got married as soon as they turned 18. They were seniors in high school. They started families and moved out of their parents house right away. That was just 10yrs ago. The age of when people get married is going up and up not down. Do the research.
jennifer • Oct 7, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Actually people are now getting married older and older not younger. That is a fact and this article is incorrect. It was very common in the past for people to get married at 18 and below. The new trend is to wait until you are older at say 21. 21 is not young, it is old compared to the age of past marriages. When I was in high school a lot of couples I went to school with got married as soon as they turned 18. They were seniors in high school. They started families and moved out of their parents house right away. That was just 10yrs ago. The age of when people get married is going up and up not down. Do the research.
fyi • Oct 7, 2009 at 10:40 am
love my ass..its for tax breaks!
fyi • Oct 7, 2009 at 5:40 pm
love my ass..its for tax breaks!
ThisGuyFromFresno • Oct 5, 2009 at 3:48 pm
young marriages are hard because you have no money, as for having kids thats even harder. People should wait to get married because of two reasons: 1. Finances and 2. Maturity. Most (not all) people aren’t mature enough to be married at 21, less have children.
As far as making your social life dull, that is over exaggerated and opion based. One persons fun is another persons burden. A couple of these post are ignorant.
ThisGuyFromFresno • Oct 5, 2009 at 10:48 pm
young marriages are hard because you have no money, as for having kids thats even harder. People should wait to get married because of two reasons: 1. Finances and 2. Maturity. Most (not all) people aren’t mature enough to be married at 21, less have children.
As far as making your social life dull, that is over exaggerated and opion based. One persons fun is another persons burden. A couple of these post are ignorant.
Wesley Warker • Oct 5, 2009 at 8:05 am
‘However, young married couples I go to school with are unlike what the statistics portray. I know five married couples who are also students, and all of them are honors students who are either still working towards their bachelor’s degrees or they’re in grad school. They all cite the faith they grew up with in the Central Valley as their main reason for choosing to marry young. Obviously, whoever conducted all those studies never met these kids. ‘
This just means they’ll be uninsured sooner as they can’t remain on their parent’s insurance. Who is the wage earner in these young marriages? How are they supporting themselves? These couples seem JUST LIKE the ones in the studies.
Wesley Warker • Oct 5, 2009 at 3:05 pm
‘However, young married couples I go to school with are unlike what the statistics portray. I know five married couples who are also students, and all of them are honors students who are either still working towards their bachelor’s degrees or they’re in grad school. They all cite the faith they grew up with in the Central Valley as their main reason for choosing to marry young. Obviously, whoever conducted all those studies never met these kids. ‘
This just means they’ll be uninsured sooner as they can’t remain on their parent’s insurance. Who is the wage earner in these young marriages? How are they supporting themselves? These couples seem JUST LIKE the ones in the studies.
Paula • Oct 5, 2009 at 12:16 am
What the hell is the rush to get married? Anybody who gets married while still in college is setting themselves up for complete disaster. I cringe whenever I encounter people who are in college and get married or even worse, have kids. Why would you want to totally ruin your life essentially before your actual adult life even began. When you graduate from college, why would you already want to be tied down and not free to begin your career wherever and under the best possible conditions? It makes no sense. God forbid you are dumb enough to actually have a kid in your early 20s, that is the only thing I can think of that is worse than being married during college.
Sure, a lot of people say they met their future spouse in college and for some morons, they actually think college relationships will last, but use some common sense for gods sake. Once you start your career and move to wherever you accept your first job, there will be an unlimited amount of young, single people who will be looking to date and go out. Why would you want to ruin that opportunity for youself before you even get to experience it? Would you rather sit at home on the weekends with your spouse, who is likely getting fatter and less attractive by the second, while all of your coworkers and new friends are going out and having fun? What a crappy life.
Getting married for religious reasons? Just come out and say that you couldn’t wait to have sex, so you decided to get married. That is what that is communicating to the world loud and clear. Is having sex really a reason to get married so young? You don’t have enough willpower to wait? Disgusting.
For both men and women, your spouse will never look better than they do on your wedding day. That is a fact. Once you get married, you will let yourselves go and once you inevitably get divorced, have kids, are damaged goods, etc, good luck entering the dating pool. Haha. Nobody will want to date you then.
Paula • Oct 5, 2009 at 7:16 am
What the hell is the rush to get married? Anybody who gets married while still in college is setting themselves up for complete disaster. I cringe whenever I encounter people who are in college and get married or even worse, have kids. Why would you want to totally ruin your life essentially before your actual adult life even began. When you graduate from college, why would you already want to be tied down and not free to begin your career wherever and under the best possible conditions? It makes no sense. God forbid you are dumb enough to actually have a kid in your early 20s, that is the only thing I can think of that is worse than being married during college.
Sure, a lot of people say they met their future spouse in college and for some morons, they actually think college relationships will last, but use some common sense for gods sake. Once you start your career and move to wherever you accept your first job, there will be an unlimited amount of young, single people who will be looking to date and go out. Why would you want to ruin that opportunity for youself before you even get to experience it? Would you rather sit at home on the weekends with your spouse, who is likely getting fatter and less attractive by the second, while all of your coworkers and new friends are going out and having fun? What a crappy life.
Getting married for religious reasons? Just come out and say that you couldn’t wait to have sex, so you decided to get married. That is what that is communicating to the world loud and clear. Is having sex really a reason to get married so young? You don’t have enough willpower to wait? Disgusting.
For both men and women, your spouse will never look better than they do on your wedding day. That is a fact. Once you get married, you will let yourselves go and once you inevitably get divorced, have kids, are damaged goods, etc, good luck entering the dating pool. Haha. Nobody will want to date you then.