Well I’m glad we all crack each other up!

I hate many of these loud, lazy, dimwitted college students as well. Some of these young punks need to “cut it out.”

wow… i didn’t realize how much i wrote til i posted… and i hate writing… thanks a lot!… i am not much a writer but i am just as opinionated as Ben is.

funny how i can write this much but when it comes to a term paper, i write very little….

This is to whatever…

You have a flaw in your argument against Baxter. A news article is supposed to inform people… An opinion or “BLOG” if you may is supposed to give the reader a little enjoyment and cause the reader to think on their own.

As for the Baxter Gazette comment… I seem to recall a little amendment in our thing that our nation holds very dear to their day to day lives. Correct me if I am wrong here but it has to do with freedom of speech. Right? He properly placed his article under the correct column as a good columnist should.

Okay, as for the irritainment comment…. Let me sit and laugh at you for a lil bit… just a min… im laughing… here i’ll even show you that I am laughing… hahahaha… see there ya have it… i laughed… How can you consider this irritainment. Obviously you don’t know the definition of irritainment. Well… let me enlighten you, irritainment is something that people will be bothered or “irritated” by but can’t withdrawal from the impulse ot continue watching/reading/doing it. Sorta like the chain letter dudes that i mentioned before… You know they are irritating, you know they aren’t true… but you still have the mental disorder that causes you to naturally continue to read…. now that we have the definition (with the bonus example) go read Ben’s article again… go ahead… ill wait
…
K, now that you read it again, lets see if this particular piece actually irritainment or entertainment. Ask yourself this, does it bother you that Ben’s roommates are mad at him for playing music? If you say yes, you need a life and i can’t help you. I hope you are normal and said no for the reason of “why should i care about that?” and i say “normal” lightly.

Now was this article bothering you on a personal level like a dog humping your leg or like does it bother you like a hand is reaching out and pinching your cheeks? I am curious… why would it bother you so much that Mr. Baxter character has to be degraded? It’s sort of like using your race as a reason why someone has placed a misfortune you. It is putting someone else down to bring yourself up…

But seriously, do you think this article was intended for you to be bothered by it? I don’t think so, I found it enjoyable to read and it gave me a bit of a chuckle to read about what goes on in the world or the dorms. There are people out there who don’t know what dorm life is like. (like me)

Now if i were his roommate, there would be serious consequences to having such loud music blaring at 6am, but i am the type of person who is always joking around and belives that payback is painful. (another words i would get up earlier then him and blast the Hamster Dance or some song of that annoying nature.) But thats just me. Its his roommate’s fault for letting Ben do that. If they truly disliked ben’s actions then there are ways to deal with it…

And ben, I applaud you for not stooping to the commenter’s level. You had many window of opportunities to retaliate back with quite mean comments. I know myself probably wouldn’t hold my tung. I think your next blog should be on people who post comments on your blogs. That would really be a funny article to read. (and yes Whatever… that article would be for irritainment… just so you can sleep at night)

Travis hates you

Irritainment for me and irritainment for you are obviously two different things!

And keep trying!

The Collegian Staff Comment
Future Squirrel Stuffer

My purpose as a columnist only rarely strays into “Irritainment.”

I thought the one on multiculturalism went over pretty well, as did the one about relationship advice.

What I wrote about about the purpose of Bulldog football did well, I thought, even if it was published as part of the weeklong football discussion. Blog posts here and here.

Exactly two have stirred the pot, and neither this one nor the other one were without substance. This is the fourth semester of this column, and probably the second semester with at least halfway-decent writing.

Oh, college papers.

I would write self-reflection more often for the benefit of y’all, but I usually try to avoid sounding like a pompous, arrogant jerk.

Usually.

This guy will make a perfect teacher. Who would listen to him or take him seriously other than students who are forced to?

All this “Pastiche” and “exaggerated” stuff, even if it is true, gives him an excuse to back down (notice how he has to explain himself in comments every time he writes a column) from something when he realizes his opinion is unreasonable.

No one forces us to read the collegian, but many of us enjoy reading things that bother us.

Some call it Irritainment.

Newspapers have kept up readership for years by employing columnists who piss people off.

He’s open for public scrutiny and we don’t have to feel bad for being mean in response to his stuff.

Ben may write for his enjoyment, but this is the student newspaper, not the Baxter Gazette. He’s just a loudmouth with a podium and should question his purpose as a columnist.

I love you Ben, will you marry me?

I actually had the chance to talk to one of your roommates. (it was actually your favorite buddy Travis). Actually I’ve talked to him numerous times this year. When I read your article and saw the name Travis posted, I knew it was him. It’s funny because he has explained to me that he actually has talked to you about this situation. Also, really, who gets up at around 6am and blasts music from their room so they can hear it in the shower? Oh, and the real Travis says that you are a douche bag and all your roommates hate you…with a passion. I also agree with Negrodamus…who is a black man.

After reading this article, I believe you shouldn’t publish your complaints in the college paper. What the hell man, if you want to complain, grow up and say it to their faces. Also, you shouldn’t knit during class or at sporting events. Pay attention to what’s going on.

Just kidding. I actually love your columns, Ben. Keep on truckin’.

And yes…I am a black man.

I think your “excepts” prove Negrodamus correct, Mr. Baxter…

I have a question…

SQUIRREL STUFFING???

Okay… now that we all are venting our anger here out on poor lil opinionated Ben. I think i am gonna take a whack at pointing out flaws in the comment board.

1. First of all (hence being next to number 1) Why are we wasting our time criticizing what someone who has the enjoyment of criticizing other people? What’s wrong with having an opinion on your life? Okay… so i sound like i am contradicting myself. Now, Ben writes for his enjoyment. And like any artist who likes to share their masterpiece, Ben wishes to share his opinions with the world. Whats the sin in that?

2. Is there that evil dead dude from the chain letters standing behind you holding you at gunpoint forcing you to read articles out of the collegian? If not… then i guess your simple pathetic goal in life is to make yourself look good by degrading a person on something that you didn’t think of doing. Wow… gatta give respect to the people who have such an expansive dictionary because ‘Bitch’ is very professional.

3. (because there always has to be a 3rd point) This article was meant for enjoyment. Not to complain, or make his roommates look bad. I personally think that Ben’s goal with this article was to give an excerpt of his life in the dorms… even if they are seedier then the seediest rat traps (i would choose the traps too Ben…. i hear the cheese is delicious)

I guess what i am trying to say is…. GET A LIFE AND STUFF YOUR OWN SQUIRRELS!!!

The Collegian Staff Comment
Future Squirrel Stuffer

Except that I have a relatively promising future in shoving history and government down the throats of high school students, and except that I already graduated and am leaving Fresno State for a good few years come May, yes.

Two big excepts.

I don’t especially like squirrels. Who do I look like? Janitor from Scrubs?

After Ben Baxter gets out of college, which will probably be in about 5 more years because he has no other future in anything other than the collegian, he will own squirrels. That is what was meant by that squirrel comment Ben.

Any other questions?

The Collegian Staff Comment
Future Squirrel Stuffer

Manhattan Transfer, not Mannheim Steamroller. Sorry to disappoint.

Feed my squirrels? What the hell?

As far as Cory, Shawn, and Topanga, I have no bloody idea what you’re talking about. More importantly, feed my squirrels? What the hell?

Rocko, you’d be well-advised to wear some thicker glasses. You’d see that my column still does appear in the paper. If you’d rather commit suicide, I won’t stop you if you’re really set on it. Different strokes for different folks, y’know?

Feed my squirrels? What the hell?

My rationale for the one actual anti-dorm piece the entire semester: I don’t know anyone who doesn’t complain about the dorms. I know a whole lot of people. I guarantee you that there are a whole lot more people who disagree with you than agree with you.

People who do know me know I’m not actually a very angry person. That’s just what people who read the column think.

It serves me fine, because I know I’m not really as bad as y’all say I am. Heh.

Feed my squirrels? What the hell? Like, tuppence a bag?

Collegian Day is a very dangerous day…Why? Because Ben Baxter’s column makes me wanna kill myself. Why do I read it? I don’t. I just see that it’s still appearing in the newspaper.

I have Benjamin in class, he sits right next to Cory and Shawn. Topanga is always telling me how annoying he is… he just doesn’t understand that Cory and Topanga are meant to be together.

I am sick of your complaining, especially about the dorms. You choose to live there and have for some time. I have read your past articles about how you hate it so much and that’s okay if you’re a freshman, but you are a graduate, an adult and a future teacher. You simply must grow up. I understand bitching about roommates, but if you dislike your situation to this degree, I think that you should move some place and live truly by yourself. Perhaps somewhere in the woods, where you can stuff squirrels and have them be your attentive audience.
The only reason I read this terrible paper is to see the next stupid thing you say. You are a very angry person and are so opinionated that I have trouble seeing you succeed as a teacher. So do us a favor, put in you petition for cancellation to the dorms and feed your squirrels.

Well it’s good to know you’re not lame enough to seriously advertise that you listen to Back In Black and Mannheim Steamroller.

The Collegian Staff Comment

I’m more of a banana person. It has potassium.

I won’t pick apart your assumptions — what will people think about me then? — but the cores of your apples are generally correct.

I don’t really hate people. It’s just a pithy way of describing how I like my own isolated corner of the world without roommates. I do hate living with people, but I don’t hate people.

That’s why this column is called and has always been called Pastiche. The Pastiche columns that aren’t straight opinion pieces are generally anecdotal exaggerations, with or without a message, that contain relevant elements of the college experience.

The key for me has always been “exaggerated.”

You caught on to the jig of it, and it was never meant to be a jig for people to catch on to. I’m usually satisfied with the furious surface-level responses I get.

By exaggerating my own position, I see the fundamental flaws in my perspective and not just those in my opposition. Everyone learns.

Regard this as a rare break in rhetoric.

you talk to us…
either way, if you don’t like people, how do you stomach writing about people everyday? working a job that encourages social activity and such. its like working for the doghouse grill and being a vegan.
the truth is you don’t hate people. in fact, you show signs of dependence upon them (from the way you and i have so playfully bantered upon this web-structure). you crave the ability to whine and moan, and then when people say something that goes anywhere near the topic, you jump at the opportunity to show people that you have an opinion (no matter how jilted it is) which shows the signs of social want and desire.
how do you like them apples?

The Collegian Staff Comment

Yep, essentially.

I don’t attribute innumerable evils upon them, though. I quote literally what I hear from them, and when I speculate I make it clear I’m speculating.

Addendum to others: I don’t pretend to be a role model in this exaggerated context, either. I don’t pretend I’m infallible or right. I don’t avoid talking to anyone out of borderline disgust.

I already don’t talk to people.

Benjamin,

You write, ” The way it works when people complain about someone they don’t know: they demonize the person in question and attribute innumerable evils upon them out of ignorance.”

Isn’t that what you did?

The Collegian Staff Comment

If they hate my guts because I’ve generally kept my music down for the latest half of the semester and they haven’t noticed, I’m not sure how I’m a douche on this one.

I’m not really complaining that they don’t talk to me, more observing that they don’t even care to try. Remember: I hate people.

The way it works when people complain about someone they don’t know: they demonize the person in question and attribute innumerable evils upon them out of ignorance.

I find this hilarious.

Anything else?

I love this web site!

Common courtesy doesn’t require discussion. You’re not the only one who lives there. They obviously don’t have an easy time talking to you, possibly because they hate your guts and habits. Maybe they’re anti-bandites too.

It seems kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy to annoy people into not talking to you, then complain that they don’t talk to you.

i agree with Travis. you are a douche. you don’t have opinions, you have tyrannical views. good luck with life, you’ll need it.

You’re such a douche.