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The Collegian

Fresno State's student-run newspaper

The Collegian

Horror flicks worth a watch

I watch a lot of movies. I like the artsy stuff: the dramas, the comedies.

But some of my favorite movies to watch — whether it’s Halloween or not — are horror films.

After class on Halloween, I’ll be watching a few horror movies, and I thought I’d share some of my favorites most people haven’t seen whether or not they’re actually good. Some are so bad you can laugh at them.

1. “Auditionâ€Â (2000)
Plot: A movie producer holds a fake audition to find a new wife, but the girl he picks ends up having a spotty history. Things get weird.
Rating: A-
Why I like it: This is a Japanese horror movie that shockingly hasn’t been remade yet — even though it’s better than all the Rings, the Grudges and Pulses put together. A&E put together a list of the 100 scariest movies ever and Audition made the top 10. To put it in perspective: this movie scared Rob Zombie.
Avoid it if: You couldn’t stomach “Hostel.”

2. “Dog Soldiersâ€Â (2002)
Plot: An army battalion in the middle of war games is attacked by werewolves.
Rating: B+
Why I like it: It’s directed by Neil Marshall, the guy who made “The Descent.â€Â You know, that cave movie. Dog Soldiers, though, is like “Predator” with werewolves. This is a good one to watch if you’re waiting for “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem,â€Â as Dog Soldiers has the same feel with army types shooting semi-automatic weapons at various beasts.
Avoid it if: You can’t stand British accents. This one has a lot of them.

3. “Cubeâ€Â (1997)

Plot: Seven strangers wake up in a maze with different blocked rooms. The rooms are trapped and they must figure out how to escape.
Rating: B-
Why I like it: It’s better than any of the Saw sequels. I had the same feeling watching this as I did with the first Saw, though Cube lacks the over-the-top gore. Don’t get me wrong: there’s still some, but it’s more based on the tension that builds as the people go from room to room, not knowing if something will set off a trap. It’s interesting to see how the characters actually try to use smarts to survive.
Avoid it if: You like cinematography. The whole movie is a bunch of square rooms that all look the same.

4. “Slaughter Highâ€Â (1986)
Plot: A group of adults go back to school for what they think is a class reunion. What they didn’t know is that a kid they teased in high school wants revenge for them disfiguring him in an accident.
Rating: C-
Why I like it: I used to watch this all the time when I was little. People do the dumbest things when they know a killer is around, and they pay dearly for it in this slasher. Best part of the movie is the guy who drinks a beer laced with acid. Though it isn’t on DVD — it probably never will be — it’s on FearNet every once in a while.
Avoid it if: You can’t stand people too stupid to survive. This movie is filled with them.

5. “Trollâ€Â (1986)
6. “Troll 2” (1990)

Plot: In “Troll,â€Â a troll tries to find a ring that will bring him back to the world. In “Troll 2,â€Â a boy finds out the city he’s vacationing in is filled with monsters.
Rating: D+, F+
Why I like it: These might be the worst movies ever made. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy them, but they’re so bad they’re good. In “Troll,â€Â the main character’s name is Harry Potter and there are wizards, elves and fantasy. It makes you wonder if J.K Rowling got drunk one night and loosely plagiarized a horrible 80s movie. Julia Louis-Dreyfus‘s character — she also plays Elaine from “Seinfeld” — goes crazy and runs around in the woods naked while Sonny Bono plays a swinger that is always in his bathrobe and gets turned into a tree.

“Troll 2â€Â, though, is just bad. There aren’t even any Trolls in the movie — they’re goblins — and it has nothing to do with the first movie. Even so, these two movies usually come packaged together, so you don’t have to pay for two rentals. “Troll 2â€Â rates high on the unintentional comedy scale.
Avoid it if: You don’t enjoy watching movies that are so bad they’re good or if you don’t want to see Sonny Bono like this.

Honorable Mentions:
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (1962)
A former child star abuses her more popular sister.
The Stepfather (1987)
A man starts to kill when his new family doesn̢۪t live up to his standards.
Ginger Snaps (2000)
Two sisters have to deal with a werewolf bite in addition to their daily high school angst.

Benjamin Baxter contributed to this report.

View Comments (7)
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Comments (7)

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  • W

    Watch Movies OnlineDec 27, 2009 at 1:13 am

    ooohhhh I am scarrreedd!!!!

    Reply
  • J

    Josh ButtersNov 1, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    I believe the actual quote from Troll 2 is
    “They’re eating her….and then they’re gonna eat me. Oh my goooooooooooooddd!!!”

    Reply
  • J

    Josh ButtersNov 1, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    I believe the actual quote from Troll 2 is
    “They’re eating her….and then they’re gonna eat me. Oh my goooooooooooooddd!!!”

    Reply
  • S

    Soulja BoyOct 31, 2007 at 11:16 am

    Troll 2: “Oh my god! They are going to eat all of them! And then they’re going to eat me to!”

    Reply
  • S

    Soulja BoyOct 31, 2007 at 6:16 pm

    Troll 2: “Oh my god! They are going to eat all of them! And then they’re going to eat me to!”

    Reply
  • D

    David PuddyOct 31, 2007 at 10:01 am

    No, Elaine has never done any nudity in film. This is well documented to be a body double.

    Reply
  • D

    David PuddyOct 31, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    No, Elaine has never done any nudity in film. This is well documented to be a body double.

    Reply