We had to compose a spooky advertising slogan based on a magazine ad in 10 seconds.

It was at a Halloween party last weekend hosted by my girlfriend’s mom. It was the kind of party with “booger dipâ€Â — green Cheez Whiz.

The highlight of the evening for many was a portable toilet filled with a yellow cocktail; it mixed dollar-store pineapple soda and Everclear.

In anticipation of a game with prizes, we crowded around the table and as far from the food as possible.

Naturally, when the hostess told us what exactly the game was, we groaned. Some people outright quit from that, but enough persevered at the prize reminder.

When it was my turn to come up with something — we took turns because there was only one pen among us — I opened the envelope and took out my advertisement. It was for microwavable pizza.

Ten. I wasn̢۪t sure what to do with this.

Nine. Everyone else seemed to have a better ad.

Eight. If it were shampoo, I could say something about Head and Shoulders.

Seven. I was having trouble thinking on the spot.

Six. If it were jewelry, I might have made a tasteless “Exorcist” joke.

Five. There̢۪s a red angle here, isn̢۪t there? Does pizza sauce look much like blood?

Four. No, it doesn̢۪t, and that̢۪s more creepy than spooky. Yes, there̢۪s a difference.

Three. What̢۪s could be scary about piping-hot, delicious pizza?

Two. Coming this fall: Kevin Costner is — “The Pizzaman.” Except I liked most of that movie, and I shan’t disgrace it.

One: Oh, hell. I̢۪ll just go with my gut.

In the end, when our slogans were put to the vote, I earned my set of AM/FM radio headphones, perhaps impressive for just two words.

“Oooo. Pizza.â€Â

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In other news: teen in go-cart outruns German police; how to fix the BCS, writes yet another columnist; and another, unrelated columnist really pisses people off, though “probably right.”