Strife for equality for women is an ongoing quest
I KEEP HEARING people complain when I use the ‘F’ word. It offends people. Men often feel attacked by the use of it.
Of course, an astute reader will realize I am not speaking of the four-letter ‘F’ word; the one I’m referring to is an eight-letter word.
Guess what it is yet? I̢۪ll be happy to name it: it̢۪s feminism.
Before I continue, I need to make something clear. Contrary to popular opinion, a lot of feminists are happily married.
Some have children. Some work and some stay home. Some are white and some are black, or Hispanic or Asian- — fill in the blank.
Some are queer.
One more fact: some feminists are men.
I believe it’s safe to say that feminism is not a condition — it’s an ideology. And the ideology is for women to have equal opportunities, equal respect, equal position in society and so on, which men enjoy and have always enjoyed.
It is a bit like white people who have privilege that is often invisible to the white receiver. In general, black people know exactly what it is to not have privilege in our society. Skin color, prejudice and racism aside, I think a similar case can be made when talking about the position of men and women in our society, and addressing why an eight letter ‘F’ word needs to be voiced and practiced, a lot!
I can already hear it. “But women already reached a level with men, so why are we still talking about it and having it shoved down our throats?”
Let me ask this: when should feminists stop? Perhaps we should have stopped trying to further equality when, in 1920, the 19th Amendment was ratified in the United States. This begs the question (does it not?) of when men were given the right to vote.
Perhaps we should have stopped when it became illegal for men to beat their wives or female lovers. Not that it stopped it, of course.
Perhaps we should have stopped when women were, “allowed,” to have their own credit cards or when women could buy a house as a single woman, unlike men who could buy a house as soon as society replaced the old feudal system and began a new concept: buying land, rather than inheriting it.
Or should we have stopped when girls were allowed to wear pants, instead of dresses, to school?
Maybe we should have called it all good when the courts finally decided that raping one̢۪s wife is wrong.
Did you know it was legal in Nebraska until 1976?
Or perhaps we should have stopped working to further our cause when anti-sexual harassment laws were put into place in the workplace, college, etc.
Should we stop now? Well, are women still being pressured to be sexual with their bosses, because if she doesn̢۪t, she loses her job and can̢۪t feed her children?
Are women still being raped by the thousands every year?
Are women still being battered by their husbands, stalked and killed?
And what about employment? Have you looked at any statistics that paint the full picture? Women are penalized for having children.
A man, generally, has the freedom to move up in his career, but a woman taking time out to have a baby will have a difficult time catching up, so to speak.
One may argue that it is her choice; but why does our society automatically expect everyone to play by male rules?
So, have we reached equality?
No, we have not.
Perhaps it appears that way because of what we think we see, such as laws made in an attempt to protect women and girls from having our sex or gender taken advantage of. But theory and fact are two very different things.
If men, or even some women, believe we are now equal, they are wrong. It is that simple.
How do I know this? Because I am a woman and I live life as a woman in a male-dominated society. Just as black people often feel they are treated unequally compared to white society, women understand we are disenfranchised as well.
Of course a feminist of color often has a double repression when facing a white, male world.
So listen, if you are offended by this “F’ word because you believe you are a person who believes in equality for women (and all ethnic groups) then I say, bravo! Come join us.
What? Did I just dare to call our society “male-dominated?”
Yes, I emphatically did so.
Who can best speak for women? Isn̢۪t it women ourselves? Isn̢۪t it women who know when we don̢۪t experience equality?
Sometimes it is so ingrained that we miss it, in conversation and politics. But what is the big threat with women seeking true equality?
Are men put off because we want to stop violence against women?
It hasn̢۪t ended.
Are we wrong to continue to fight against unwanted sexual advances in the work place?
It still happens.
Are we wrong to want a woman considered equally with males seeking the presidency?
Hasn̢۪t happened.
Are we wrong to demand to be taken as seriously, when we have a medical problem, as a man is? Doesn̢۪t happen across the board.
Have men been suspect when complaining about medical conditions like women are? Women are often still considered to be emotional and while not faking symptoms, we are often believed to have acquired the symptoms — hysteria.
Multiple Sclerosis was thought to be psychosomatic for years, since women are the most frequent victims. Do you really believe that stigma has somehow vanished?
Not by a long shot.
As always, I cannot speak for all feminists, but speaking for myself, I will not stop trying to further the cause until men really do stop beating wives and girlfriends.
I will continue to fight until women have complete control over our reproductive capabilities.
I will stop when the number of women who are brutalized by husbands is zero.
I will stop when the number of women raped every year becomes zero.
I will stop when little girls and boys are no longer molested and raped.
I will stop when women truly have equality, not in theory, but in fact.
Emily D. • Mar 23, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Wow, you really like the word “debacle,” don’t you, Mr. Greyson? I’ve noticed you’ve already managed to use it multiple times on this site. How about a little variety? Surely not everything qualifies as a debacle.
Emily D. • Mar 24, 2007 at 5:07 am
Wow, you really like the word “debacle,” don’t you, Mr. Greyson? I’ve noticed you’ve already managed to use it multiple times on this site. How about a little variety? Surely not everything qualifies as a debacle.
Mike Greyson • Mar 23, 2007 at 3:48 pm
The columnist is truly trying to “own” the word “feminism (-ist).” How many women love their “feminist” boyfriend who tries to split the bill at dinner? Equality is one thing, rationality is quite another. Men living in the USA in the year 2007 are indeed feminized by a number of facts and circumstances in their lives. That is the debacle in this nation.
Mike Greyson • Mar 23, 2007 at 10:48 pm
The columnist is truly trying to “own” the word “feminism (-ist).” How many women love their “feminist” boyfriend who tries to split the bill at dinner? Equality is one thing, rationality is quite another. Men living in the USA in the year 2007 are indeed feminized by a number of facts and circumstances in their lives. That is the debacle in this nation.
JD • Mar 22, 2007 at 6:29 pm
here’s the problem with this article: the writer thinks that feminists want equality.
that would be fine, but it’s not true.
feminists want inequality. they want to be on top. and why not? women have been on bottom for quite a while. they should want to be on top. male-inists (i just made that up right now, but roll with it) want men to be on top.
the worst part about it is that feminism masks its goal of inequality with some fake veil of justice and equality.
feminists don’t want equal opportunity for men and women. they want girls to have a softball team AND be able to join the baseball team. can the boys who got cut from baseball because a girl took their spot join the softball team? hell no!
so how is that equality?
feminists want to wear the pants yet still expect men to open doors and say, “ladies first.” they want to have equal say in money decisions, but still expect men to pay their way.
they’ll protest males who beat their wives then turn around and cheer on women who beat men.
they want equality in all the things that remain disparities, but they don’t want to give up any current advantages they may have. then they sit there and bash men for not wanting to give up their advantages.
are things equal? no. nobody should pretend they are. but the women’s studies course i took was crap. and if this writer got fooled into thinking feminism is about equality, she should think again.
JD • Mar 23, 2007 at 1:29 am
here’s the problem with this article: the writer thinks that feminists want equality.
that would be fine, but it’s not true.
feminists want inequality. they want to be on top. and why not? women have been on bottom for quite a while. they should want to be on top. male-inists (i just made that up right now, but roll with it) want men to be on top.
the worst part about it is that feminism masks its goal of inequality with some fake veil of justice and equality.
feminists don’t want equal opportunity for men and women. they want girls to have a softball team AND be able to join the baseball team. can the boys who got cut from baseball because a girl took their spot join the softball team? hell no!
so how is that equality?
feminists want to wear the pants yet still expect men to open doors and say, “ladies first.” they want to have equal say in money decisions, but still expect men to pay their way.
they’ll protest males who beat their wives then turn around and cheer on women who beat men.
they want equality in all the things that remain disparities, but they don’t want to give up any current advantages they may have. then they sit there and bash men for not wanting to give up their advantages.
are things equal? no. nobody should pretend they are. but the women’s studies course i took was crap. and if this writer got fooled into thinking feminism is about equality, she should think again.
CM • Mar 22, 2007 at 3:20 pm
It took me a while to find your article on this collegian website, until i remembered that i could call the special technical support hotline that is reserved for men only. If you havn’t heard about it, its only because you’re a woman, and us men have sworn an oath to keep it a secret from all women kind. They told me to go back to the collegian website and search your name in the search field. I couldn’t remember the spelling of your name so i just typed in ‘man-hater’, sure enough the search results brought me to this page.
I’ve had to bite my tongue every time i read any one of your articles that plague the collegian, but after reading this last one the pressure that is hanging on me to comment is equally as heavy as the amount of literary bullshit you smear on a practicaly rational newspaper.
You made an excellent point in your article when you said “Who can best speak for women? Isn’t it women ourselves?”. Well your right, women can speak for themselves just as much as men can speak for themselves, and i wanted to tell you that you are wrong. We can speak for ourselves and we don’t need you attempting to speak for us. When you said men often feel attacked by the word feminism you couldn’t have been more inaccurate. I don’t feel attacked. I simply feel disgusted to know that i’m a human being, just like yourself. I’m ashamed to be in the same species as you. You perpetuate the slightest, most subtle details of life into a whirlwind of extremely hypersensitive propaganda. You think therefore you feel. If you go searching for all these sexist inequalities than you are going to find them. I’m sure i could purchase 2,000 books and cite examples of men being treated unequally, but i wouldn’t turn around and stand on my soapbox preaching them. I would understand that life isn’t fair, and instead of blaming one group of people for the worlds injustice, i would trust my reason and sensibility and if all possible just remain positive. You’re putting this negative ‘jacket’ on, and because your feminist lens is attatched so tight you see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, read what you want to read, and believe what you want to be real.
You desicrate the miraculous purity of giving birth, and bearing children. You use it as a mouthpiece to convey your point, and you use it as a stage to spill your impractical garbage. It is something that should be appreciated and valued for its precious and invaluable nature. But instead, if you had the opportunity, you would probably use it to leverage your employer into giving you a lengthy paid vacation. You forget the fact that bearing children is a miracle of life, and something that no man will ever experience. So if you want to go toe to toe about who gets the shorter end of the stick, you should proabably look at the larger picture instead of just getting caught up in the frivolous bullshit of things that are in and of themselves meaningless. And i think you would see that when everything superficial is washed away women already have more than a man can ever humanly ask for.
My attempt in this commentary wasn’t to condone anything evil that men do to women in areas such as abuse, and domestic violence, i just believe that your focus is a little misguided. I’m hoping to throw you a life-raft of ‘reason’, and even though a man threw it to you, i hope it doesn’t stop you from grabbing it to prevent yourself from drowning.
CM • Mar 22, 2007 at 10:20 pm
It took me a while to find your article on this collegian website, until i remembered that i could call the special technical support hotline that is reserved for men only. If you havn’t heard about it, its only because you’re a woman, and us men have sworn an oath to keep it a secret from all women kind. They told me to go back to the collegian website and search your name in the search field. I couldn’t remember the spelling of your name so i just typed in ‘man-hater’, sure enough the search results brought me to this page.
I’ve had to bite my tongue every time i read any one of your articles that plague the collegian, but after reading this last one the pressure that is hanging on me to comment is equally as heavy as the amount of literary bullshit you smear on a practicaly rational newspaper.
You made an excellent point in your article when you said “Who can best speak for women? Isn’t it women ourselves?”. Well your right, women can speak for themselves just as much as men can speak for themselves, and i wanted to tell you that you are wrong. We can speak for ourselves and we don’t need you attempting to speak for us. When you said men often feel attacked by the word feminism you couldn’t have been more inaccurate. I don’t feel attacked. I simply feel disgusted to know that i’m a human being, just like yourself. I’m ashamed to be in the same species as you. You perpetuate the slightest, most subtle details of life into a whirlwind of extremely hypersensitive propaganda. You think therefore you feel. If you go searching for all these sexist inequalities than you are going to find them. I’m sure i could purchase 2,000 books and cite examples of men being treated unequally, but i wouldn’t turn around and stand on my soapbox preaching them. I would understand that life isn’t fair, and instead of blaming one group of people for the worlds injustice, i would trust my reason and sensibility and if all possible just remain positive. You’re putting this negative ‘jacket’ on, and because your feminist lens is attatched so tight you see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, read what you want to read, and believe what you want to be real.
You desicrate the miraculous purity of giving birth, and bearing children. You use it as a mouthpiece to convey your point, and you use it as a stage to spill your impractical garbage. It is something that should be appreciated and valued for its precious and invaluable nature. But instead, if you had the opportunity, you would probably use it to leverage your employer into giving you a lengthy paid vacation. You forget the fact that bearing children is a miracle of life, and something that no man will ever experience. So if you want to go toe to toe about who gets the shorter end of the stick, you should proabably look at the larger picture instead of just getting caught up in the frivolous bullshit of things that are in and of themselves meaningless. And i think you would see that when everything superficial is washed away women already have more than a man can ever humanly ask for.
My attempt in this commentary wasn’t to condone anything evil that men do to women in areas such as abuse, and domestic violence, i just believe that your focus is a little misguided. I’m hoping to throw you a life-raft of ‘reason’, and even though a man threw it to you, i hope it doesn’t stop you from grabbing it to prevent yourself from drowning.
Mike Greyson • Mar 21, 2007 at 11:07 am
You live in a society that promotes feminist ideals!—–Monogamy, childrearing, emphasis on feelings over reality. Also safety, equity in situations that do not warrant equity (women in the US Marine Corps), and taxbreaks for having those little rugrats we call children. Examine the stats for breats cancer research funding versus prostate or urological cancer. Women control sexuality in this day and age. What more do you want? The pendulum has swung in the other direction. You can cite little examples of pay discrepancies all the live long day, but if you do your homework, you will see that opportunity costs always come into play when looking at men and women in the workplace. Yes, as an employer I want an employee to put his or her personal desire for a family behind that person’s desire to work for me.
Mike Greyson • Mar 21, 2007 at 6:07 pm
You live in a society that promotes feminist ideals!—–Monogamy, childrearing, emphasis on feelings over reality. Also safety, equity in situations that do not warrant equity (women in the US Marine Corps), and taxbreaks for having those little rugrats we call children. Examine the stats for breats cancer research funding versus prostate or urological cancer. Women control sexuality in this day and age. What more do you want? The pendulum has swung in the other direction. You can cite little examples of pay discrepancies all the live long day, but if you do your homework, you will see that opportunity costs always come into play when looking at men and women in the workplace. Yes, as an employer I want an employee to put his or her personal desire for a family behind that person’s desire to work for me.