January dumps

By Nicole Tropf
The Collegian

January has been given the reputation of having twice as many relationship breakups as any other month of the year, according to a Yahoo survey conducted in the United Kingdom.

There may be some truth to this heart-breaking phenomenon for many reasons, but no statistics exist, said Gena Gechter, Ph.D. Coordinator, Psychological Services at the University Health Center.

Through 23 years of experience at the Health Center, Gechter has come to the conclusion that “there seems to be a few main factors that contribute to breakups in January.”

Prior to holidays, some people already know that a relationship has to end but they hesitate in doing so because of the festivities.

“A couple may have already made plans together for the holidays and so they wait to end the relationship until after their plans have been carried out,” Gechter said.

In Gechter’s practice, the process of not wanting to deal with breakups during the holidays is primarily seen in married couples.

“Typically, I’ve seen this happen. They will consciously decide that their relationship will not progress further but will not end the relationship until after the holidays,” Gechter said. “They will wait for one last holiday to have together for the children or as a family before they announce that the relationship is coming to a close.”

Just because November and December are packed with celebration doesn’t mean that they are the only months with something to commemorate.

January is the month of new beginnings and New Year’s expectations can weigh heavily on relationships.

“During this time, people tend to go through a self-evaluation process. They will reassess their lives close to the end of the year and in doing so have begun to realize that their relationship shouldn’t progress any further,” Gechter said.

Cristina Banuelos, a Fresno State student, talked about her ex-boyfriend’s New Year’s resolution.

“My ex broke up with me two years ago on New Year’s Eve over the phone,” Banuelos said. “He called me and said he had a lot going on and it would be fairer to me if we were just friends. Looking back now, we shouldn’t have even lasted that long.”

A re-examination of a person’s position before the new year begins can put relationships under scrutiny and cause more room for breakups in January.

Gechter said, “couples will get out of the relationship as soon as possible in order to start constructing a clean slate.”

A final factor Gechter has encountered in her practice about why more breakups seem to happen in January is the perception that relationships go hand-in-hand with anniversary dates such as birthdays, celebrations or special traditions.

Graduation fits in the anniversary category and also symbolizes the end of one section of life and the beginning of another.

Graduation not only puts excess tension on other aspects of student life, but can also illuminate the concerns in a relationship.

“Students who have become seriously involved in a relationship tend to get a little nervous around their last semester before graduation,” Gechter said.

Suddenly, the excuse for postponing an engagement starts to lose its affect and reality sets in on when or how serious things might just get once school is out of the way. The relationship becomes the couple’s primary focus and this anxiety can cause breakups.

“During a student’s graduating semester, pressure from just graduating can even play a huge role in why a relationship might end in January. The beginning of a semester can sometimes make an individual demand closure of a relationship before entering into another time consuming experience,” Gechter said.

It appears that a couple breaking up after the November-December holidays is the right time for singles to start scoping out their next significant other just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Students who experience a New Year's relationship rough patch can find support at the University Health & Psychological Services Center. All services are free or very low in cost and the center offers walk-in appointments. For more information call 278-6738.

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