A plaintive cry for cheaper tuition

By Ryan Borba
The Collegian

IT’S HARD TO imagine a collegiate fate worse than not graduating when graduation is expected and hoped for.

We’ve all heard sob stories where one of us chumps has to fork over another $1,000 to take one class the next semester thanks to a misunderstanding.

But some of us see it coming and it’s almost just as bad.

No one wants to be in the situation where it takes one final class to graduate. And finding “fun” classes (oxymoron, right?) to get more for the money just might not be practical when you’re close to graduating and busy with other things during the day.

But almost as unfortunate as needing one class to graduate are those who need two classes to graduate and pay the same. I got stuck with nine units this semester and owing $1,519.

While registering for my final semester, I just realized, much to my dismay — extreme anger and comical disbelief might be more accurate — that six measly units is the cut-off for part-time student status.

Anything more, and the cost exceeds $1,500 and increases quickly.

For financial aid purposes, a full-time student is one who takes 12 units, which is usually four classes.

Why, then, does seven units count as full-time status for fees?

The disparity doesn’t make a lot of sense and it really seems kind of malevolent and just plain mean.

Not that we don’t know what our money is worth, but here are a few other things you can buy with $1,500.

A 50-inch big screen HDTV.

A crappy but functional car, depending on your haggling skills.

One awesome space-age computer no one could ever really use to its capacity.

A deafeningly-loud stereo.

Almost three new PlayStations, which many gamers started fights and waited in line all night for.

A top of the line electric guitar.

Almost 150 12-packs of beer, depending on the brand. That’s 1,800 total.

Or about 15,000 packets of Top Ramen.

You get the point; $1,500 is a lot of money for most of us. And three classes is not a lot of class time.
Just $9 short of $1,000 for two classes isn’t a good deal by any stretch, but it’s something.

And imagine the poor sap (likely a science student of some kind) who needs seven units to graduate thanks to a lab class. This should not be considered full time.

It’s difficult to place a value on the experience of being at a university.

I definitely wouldn’t have landed a full-time job already if I didn’t take so many classes here and pay attention, but as (should-be) part-time students, we already usually have a lot to deal with.

Things like work, children or other family members to tend to.

Nothing else is getting cheaper, either, and wages aren’t so hot in Fresno usually. Many of us are part-timers because we’re about to graduate, finishing up while working (literally) our way into the real world.

So why can’t the university go a little easy on us? We’ve done our time.

If punishing the permanent part-time student is absolutely necessary, at least develop some sort of new option or a discount for students who only need a few units to graduate.

Honestly, at most, I’m on campus about five hours a week and I pay the same amount in fees as those who live here. Something isn’t right.

The university shouldn’t baby us and just hand over a degree, but imagine the almost-permanent part-time student.

It’s about 120 units to graduate. Let’s say Persistent Patty wants to take six units a semester until she graduates, because that’s what works for her schedule. It’s a slightly ridiculous plan, I know, but just humor me. It’s possible in theory.

That would take 17 semesters at about $1,000 apiece, assuming fees don’t rise (they will). I’m not good at math, but that’s $17,000.

Conversely, 15 units a semester at $1,500 apiece would take $12,000.

I guess the real lesson here is to not be a part-time student and try not to end up with only a few units until graduation.

Or you can just try to forget about it, instead of wishing you had $1,500 worth of beer to cry into.

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