When old folks take over the net

By Ryan Borba
The Collegian

THEY ALREADY HAVE a hold on most TV programming, control much of the political process and are only growing in size. Just wait until the first computer-savvy generation retires and takes over cyberspace.

Young people will be left with no choice but to come up with something new, because by the time most of us are old, the Internet’s user-generated content will probably consist mostly of advice on how to not get screwed on Medicare, to make the most of senior citizen discounts and how to take advantage of tax breaks for the elderly.

Blogs about prime fishing spots and the best way to stay regular will be common, too.

It’s hard to picture, but I think a lot of the things we like to do now will continue in our old age.

We’ll still probably keep up with friends with instant messengers and some sort of MySpace-like program. I don’t see age stopping that.

I know we don’t like to think about it, but we too will be old some day, and it will likely be a pretty weird scene compared to what we’re used to thinking of when picturing old people at home.

We’ll be one of the first completely computer-literate generations to retire and there will be tons of us.

Young people will be forced to put up with our geriatric version of cyberspace if they don’t come up with something more confusing and complex to keep us out of.

The scary part is that there is no way to predict what’s in store. No one saw the Internet coming, so there’s no telling what could be next.

But it is inevitable that, as old people, we will be baffled by the younger generations.

It just wouldn’t be right if old people weren’t completely in the dark about their grandkids’ gadgets. For me, it was videogames, computers and now, the Internet.

I think it’s terrifying to try to imagine what could be cooked up in another 40 or 50 years. There aren’t really any electrically powered clothing items yet. Maybe those will catch on. With air conditioning?

Maybe it would work like a remote control car via cell phone.

What about portable microwaves? People only seem to be getting fatter and fatter. Maybe in another 40 years it’ll be more annoying and common for students to be zapping a hot pocket in class than to see them on Gmail.

I’m not sure how we’ll handle it. We have such a grip on everything now, and it seems like we’re always one step ahead as we keep up in the school, work and consumer worlds, growing along with the necessary tools.

Maybe by the time we hit our golden years, it will be so normal to communicate digitally that young hooligans will freak us out by actually hanging out together and talking. I’d like to think things could only go so far in one direction before reversing.

I guess there’s always somewhat of a struggle with technology for the elder generations. I’m guessing it’ll just hit me one day. It’ll seem like I have no idea how to do anything anymore and I will have to come to terms with my oldness. And it will suck. I’ll probably think the junk they’re doing is ridiculous anyway.

It’s possible that the Internet might be big enough to please everyone. The current trend seems to point toward combining all mass communication mediums into one with the help of computers.

But somehow I don’t think it’ll fly with the youngsters that grandpa can bug them on an instant messenger just as easily as their friends. Something has to stop the geezers from getting in their business. There has to be some sort of barrier at the very least.

Time will only tell, I guess.

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