Through the Looking Glass

By Mike Pingree, KRT Campus

GREAT, YOU'RE HERE ... WHY CAN'T WE LEAVE?

A man, arrested for drunk driving near Buffalo, N.Y., called his girlfriend and asked her to come bail him out. On the way there, she was arrested for drunk driving.

I GOTTA KNOW, HOW DID YOU CATCH ME?

A burglar was breaking into a bar in Petropolis, Brazil, through the roof, when he fell and shot himself in the foot. So he got up and returned to his home, which was about 100 yards away, leaving a trail for police to follow the next morning.

SHE WAS APPARENTLY VERY NIMBLE

Philadelphia detectives arrested a prostitute and handcuffed her hands behind her back before putting her into an unmarked Dodge Caravan to take her to the station. But she stole the van and sped off after somehow managing to get her hands in front of her.

GEE, NO, WE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING

Scrap metal is at such a premium in the Ukraine that thieves stole the bridge spanning the Svalyavka River. Police said the job required a crane. Someone had to have noticed the theft as it was taking place, but so far no one is talking.

A PERFECTLY REASONABLE REQUEST

A 35-year-old welfare recipient in Ansbach, Germany, whose wife is on an extended visit to Thailand, applied for government money so he could visit houses of prostitution and rent pornographic videos while she is away. He said these things are necessary to maintain his “health and bodily well-being.” Request denied.

TRY AND STOP ME! GULP, GULP, RETCH!

After several thefts of wine from a bar in Schwabach, Germany, the owner put vinegar in wine bottles on the shelf in case the burglar struck again. He did. But the inebriated young man became trapped inside when the manager returned unexpectedly, and so he decided to gulp down the booze before he was arrested. As a result, he spent his time vomiting until the police came for him.

AH, HOME SWEET HO.... WHAT THE!?

An Alabama man returned from a three-month business trip to find that drug dealers had set up a meth lab in his trailer home. The drug dealers were not there when he arrived. He has informed the authorities.

I'M SURE IT WILL LAST FOREVER

A Turkish waiter, whose affair with a 14-year-old Welsh tourist got him sent to jail and caused an uproar in Great Britain, has gotten the permission of the girl's parents to marry her. He is 25 now, and she is going on 16.

BUT I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW

An Ohio man pretended he had cancer in order to trick his girlfriend and her parents into giving him $6,000 “for treatment,” police say. He has been arrested.

HEY, THAT PLACE LOOKS VERY FAMILIAR

While watching a TV program about a teenage girl who was murdered 20 years ago and dismembered by her adoptive father at their London home, a couple discovered that they are now living in the house where it happened. They were not told about this when they bought the place, and were stunned when their home appeared on the screen.