More random thoughts

Thoughts from the Doghouse

By Alberto Magallanes & Ryan Ramos

You know when you’re in class, your mind starts to wander and you come up with weird thoughts like, “Am I the only one who liked Crystal Pepsi?” Well we decided to write them down. Enjoy.

• Alberto’s Thought of the Week: At age 20, Fresno State’s Kia Michael Karbassi has already run for city council. Man, when I was 20, I was still working on my Cartman impression. “Screw you guys, I’m going home.” (Ryan: “In case you’re wondering what Alberto’s Cartman sounds like, try and picture Kermit the Frog on crack.”)

• Last week, Martha Stewart was found guilty of obstruction of justice. Finally, solid proof that there is a god.

• One of Alberto’s Many Pet Peeves: Teachers who keep you longer than the scheduled class period. You only have 50 minutes to teach me. After that, you’re on my time buddy!

• Last year, Adrian Brody got to kiss Halle Berry at the Academy Awards. This year, he got to kiss Charlize Theron. This guy's luckier than a Leprechaun with a horseshoe in one hand, a rabbit’s foot in the other, smoking on a four-leaf clover.

• Speaking of the Oscars, Catherine Zeta-Jones looked great this year. Be on the lookout for her in “Zorro 2.” As for her husband Michael Douglas, we heard he’s up for the role of “Old Man #3” in the new Metamucil commercial.

• Another One of Alberto’s Many Pet Peeves: Group Projects. Every group has that one guy who never goes to meetings, never responds to e-mails and overall does a half-ass job. And you know what, I’m tired of being that guy.

• Word on the street is that there’s a “Dukes of Hazard” movie in the works. Jessica Simpson is supposed to play Daisy Duke. This is just another example of how this country continues to award stupidity.

• Does anyone else think Robin Williams might be The Missing Link? We heard that PETA had accused him of wearing fur. They later found out that he was just walking around without a shirt on.

• The movie “Girl Next Door” opens in theaters in a few weeks. It’s about a guy whose neighbor turns out to be a porno actress. This film was originally titled “It’s a Wonderful Life,” but apparently that name was already taken.

• Yet Another One of Alberto’s Many Pet Peeves: Toe socks. Those things seriously freak me out. I can’t stand it when girls wear them. It’s like a bunch of hands walking across the floor. If I was dating Britney Spears and found out she wore toe socks, that'd be the end of that relationship. (Ryan: “Yeah, that’s why you won’t get Britney Spears. Because of toe socks.”)

• On a serious note, if you or anyone you know watches “On Air With Ryan Seacrest,” please get them the medical attention they desperately need. Together, we can fight this plague on society known as Ryan Seacrest.

— These columnists can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu