More pop culture parade

By Alberto Magallanes & Ryan Ramos

You know when you’re in class, your mind starts to wander, and you come up with weird thoughts like, “If Zack could freeze time on ‘Saved By the Bell,’ how come he never checked in on Kelly when she was in the shower? I mean, what’s that about?” Well, we decided to write them down. Enjoy.

• Ok, let’s get Super Bowl XXXVIII out of the way, or what Alberto’s 12-year old cousin calls, “The Greatest Superbowl Ever.” Funny thing is, he didn’t even see the second half. “Nipplegate” seems to be the only thing on people’s minds.

Actually, the halftime show sucked. It’s a sad day in America when even nudity can’t help a performance. Even Milli Vanilli didn’t lip sync that much. Kid Rock singing “Bawitaba?” That song was great—five years ago!

• Got some free time? Throw on a red shirt, some khakis and head on over to Target. When customers start hounding you with questions, feel free to respond with, “How the hell should I know? Does it look like I work here?!”

• Alberto’s Thought of the Week: Had “You Got Served” been the number one movie in America again, I would have taken that as a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

• The price of textbooks is past ridiculous. Instead of paying by credit card, it’s probably easier if you just have your paychecks sent directly to the Kennel Bookstore.

• Ryan’s Thought of the Week: One of the worst things in the world is going to the store and finding one of your favorite movies in the discount DVD bin. Sure you’re getting a bargain, but realizing that your taste in cinema lies between “Cool World” and “Eddie” is enough to make a man sick.

• Guys, here’s a quick test to determine if you’re getting older. When you look at a woman do you: a) check out her body b) check out her face c) check to make sure she doesn’t have a ring on her finger. If you answered C, you might want to check for any gray hairs gramps.

• Alberto’s Other Thought of the Week: When working on a résumé, shouldn’t you be able to put “Beat Mike Tyson’s Punchout” under accomplishments? If that’s not an achievement, I don’t know what is.

Last weekend, I spent eight hours playing old-school Nintendo just so I could drop Iron Mike like I dropped History 11. (Ryan: “Eight hours playing Nintendo? And he wonders why he’s single.”)

• Ryan’s Other Thought of the Week: Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Fellas, it’s okay if you don’t have a date. Lots of men don’t have dates on Valentine’s Day. Of course we call those people monks. (Alberto: “I don’t find this joke funny at all.”)

• Dealing with the Admissions and Evaluations Office is a lot like going to the proctologist. You pretty much take it the same way.

• To those of you who are into modifying Hondas, here are two pieces of advice we think the general public can all agree on: 1) Do not put a spoiler on your car that looks like it was designed by Boeing. 2) Do not paint your car to the point where it has more colors than a bag of Skittles. Seriously people, what’s wrong with you?

— These columnists can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu