Professors should get ready to put in overtime

By Joshua D. Scroggin

MEMORANDUM

TO: Members of the faculty

FROM: Joshua D. Scroggin, Sports Editor, The Collegian

SUBJECT: Academic support for student-athletes

As you may be aware from reading the many of the articles in The Collegian concerning the Fresno State football team in recent weeks, the Bulldogs have positioned themselves for a postseason bowl bid.

Since faculty members should always be looking for ways to ensure the academic integrity of student athletes (help them out), I’m writing to inform you on how to show them favorable treatment as required by the regulations of the Western Athletic Conference.

The WAC has a guideline called the “six unit rule.” The rule requires each student athlete to pass six units of coursework in a semester in order to be eligible for any competition taking place after the semester’s completion.

The team has only one loss in conference play and is in line to receive one of the WAC’s three bowl bids. Actually, let’s be honest. If the Bulldogs don’t go to the Silicon Valley Football Classic in San Jose, my pants will fall down in amazement.

The game is traditionally played on Dec. 31.

In order to ensure each player makes it to the game, their grades must be verified before the team makes the grueling bus ride upstate.

I’m asking you to get the players’ grades in a little early, but I know it’s easier said than done.

I can’t speak for every student on campus, but the only time I got a grade that soon after the end of the semester was when I took music 187—but only because I knew I had an A the day I signed up.

I’m only making a big deal about this because seven players got left behind last year when the team beat Georgia Tech 30-21. There’s a possibility one of them really did pass six units, but I’m not sure.

The problem is not isolated at Fresno State. Last season, Hawaii failed to certify its players before the Con Agra Foods Hawaii Bowl, and the WAC ruthlessly rebuked them with a public reprimand. And don’t do it ever again Hawaii—or else.

Needless to say, no one wants to see something like that happen to Fresno State. It might tarnish the university’s reputation for upholding academic integrity.

People are starting to forget about Courtney Alexander and Cruz Bustamante. A public reprimand would be like dragging Fresno State’s good name through the soggy pit of mud San Jose calls Spartan Stadium.

I know what you’re thinking. The Bulldogs do that every year in the Silicon Valley Classic, but they don’t want to have to do it without five starters again.

In conclusion, please determine the football players’ grades before everyone else’s. The fate of the athletic department is in your hands.

And if it’s not too much trouble, and seeing as how I have brought this shocking problem to the forefront, please tabulate my grades early as well.

Music 187 professors: please disregard this message.