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Fresno state sould give students the time of day
I’ve tried to ignore it. I thought it couldn’t stay so wrong for much longer. Someone had to act. But no, it sat and just got worse and worse. I’m talking about the clock tower—of course. Actually I’m talking about nearly all time-telling devices anywhere on campus. Since the semester started, the clock has been wrong. Not just one side either. Two sides match and the other two are in constant conflict. To add to the confusion, the bells chime proudly at the right time, almost mocking the hands on all sides. It seems blind people are the only ones afforded the right time on campus. Time has a serious identity crisis according to the tower. My schitzo uncle has an easier time making a decision but that’s probably because we care enough to medicate him. No one seems to care enough to help the clock. So if you need to know the time I guess you should stick your head in a building and look at a clock. Our campus is sporting at least four types of clocks this season. The first and most rare breed is a clock with the correct time. Other clock variations include one with an accurate minute hand but the hour hand is wrong. Usually these are only off by an hour and are all you need to put yourself in a two-second panic about missing your lunch date. I say two seconds because by the time I start to panic, I realize I’m on campus and that clock cannot be right. My favorite clock variant is the one with the correct hour but a minute hand that is off by some 27 minutes. Every day this type of clock changes its minute hand position like it was the little clock that could, desperately trying to be right. Then the day comes when you notice it’s actually right. Don’t be fooled. It will be wrong again just when you start to depend on it. It will be off 27 minutes again. The fourth type is the clock that doesn’t move at all. Luckily, this one is actually right twice a day. It’s the year 2003! I was promised a flying car by now! Not only do I not have a flying car but we’re still using the same asinine method of time keeping and we can’t even keep that straight. Dead people from ancient times are looking down and laughing at us. “Sundials!” they scream, “Sundials!” I know I sound like some nitpicky ass with a pen but this situation is more than a little telling about the state of our campus. The clock tower is on my ID card. Apparently someone decided it is important enough to be a symbol of our campus. It stands tall in the center of campus proudly stating that the people of this great learning institution don’t care. It says that the leadership of this campus doesn’t ever visit the student center. If they did they would notice it, make a stink, fire someone, hire someone, raise fees and get the problem fixed. I can guarantee the Save Mart Center clocks will always be right. Unfortunately I don’t pass that on my way to class, but at least it will be on our ID’s soon. — This columnist can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu |
