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Thoughts From The Doghouse By Alberto Magallanes & Ryan Ramos

You know How when you’re in class, your mind starts to wander and you come up with weird thoughts like “Am I the only one who saw the Garbage Pail Kids movie? ” Well, we decided to write them down. Enjoy.

• “Scarface” finally came out on DVD. Fellas, you’ve had 20 years to see this movie. If you haven’t seen “Scarface” by now, take the cookies out of the oven, pick up your skirt and run to the store.

• While watching MTV, Alberto comes up with this musical equation: 2Pac – Talent = Ja Rule.

• Alberto’s Tips on Dating 78: When taking a girl out, it’s always a good idea to open the car door for her. But before you close the door, make sure both her feet are inside.

• Accidentally getting toothpaste on your shirt is a lot like stepping in dog crap. You never saw it coming, but you still think you should’ve been more careful.

• Whatever happened to Topanga from “Boy Meets World?” It’s like she just disappeared. She was so hot. If anyone’s due for a comeback, it’s her, and not in the Skin-emax kind of way.

• Time for another edition of good idea/bad idea: 22-inch spinning rims on a 2003 Cadillac Escalade—good idea. 22-inch spinning rims on your mom’s 1973 hatchback—bad idea.

• Cell phones are getting out of hand. Alberto actually saw a guy trying to talk on a cell phone while standing at a urinal. Guys, have some decency for the person on the line. What’s next? Phone calls from behind the stalls? I don’t know about you, but there are some sounds I just don’t want to hear over the phone.

• Scientists say cockroaches would be able to survive a nuclear blast. So why do we try and kill every cockroach we see? The answer’s simple. We’re jealous.

• It’s funny how Britney Spears’ initials are “B.S.” Coincidence? I think not. (The opinion expressed here does not reflect the views of Alberto, who by the way would just like to say that this month’s Rolling Stone cover is great.)

• Ryan’s Tips on Dating 21: Never take your woman to a movie that stars Vin Diesel, Colin Farrell or The Rock. Why? Because when the movie’s over, she’s going to get hit with the reality stick and realize she has to go home with you and your butter-stained T-shirt.

• Possible bumper sticker: “To those of you who suffer from migraines, it’s all in your head.”

• This is our fourth installment of this column. Here are the top three responses we’ve had thus far: 1) What are you, an idiot? 2) Where do you guys come up with this $#!T? 3) No, I will not go out with you. I don’t care if your column IS in The Collegian!

— These columnists can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu