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Any more random and it'd be like playing craps
You know when you’re in class and your mind starts to wander, and you come up with weird thoughts like “I wonder how much Alf gets paid for those 10-10-2-20 commercials?” Well, we decided to write them down. Enjoy. • Got some free time? Here are two fun things to try. You can either walk around the parking lot aimlessly and annoy as many “parking space stalkers” as you can, or walk back to your car, start the engine and keep your foot on the brake. This drives people insane, and it makes for a good show. • If you know what you want to do with your life, general ed can be a waste of time. We wonder how many pre-law students who take an intro anthropology course end up saying, “Forget law school. It’s all about anthropology, baby!” • There’s nothing sexier than a woman screaming profanities and flipping off the referee at a football game (We’re actually being serious). • Kurt Warner’s hair used to make him look bad. Now he goes out on the field and does it himself. • Fred Taylor’s on one of our fantasy football teams this year. We never thought we’d be praying for another man’s groin to hold up. • One of the most disturbing scenes in the history of cinema has to be that psychedelic boat ride from hell in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Shivers just went down our spines. • Guys, if you ever find yourself visiting a strip club at 2 o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, you may want to re-examine your choices in life. • Is there a point in showing up 30 minutes late to a 50 minute class? That’s like skipping your own wedding and showing up at the reception just in time for cake… or something like that. • Funniest thing we heard all summer: “Welcome to the O.C., b*tch!” • Are we alone in thinking that the guy from “The O.C.” looks likes he’s 30 years old? • It’s always great to see someone with a “What Would Jesus Do?” bumper sticker giving another driver the middle finger. • After watching MTV’s “Newlyweds,” we’re starting to think that if you asked Jessica Simpson to add 2+2, she’d come up with a remainder. • The ultimate Celebrity Jeopardy would pit Anna Nicole Smith, Joe Millionaire and Jessica Simpson against each other. • Why is America fascinated with the mullet? Seriously. Speaking of which, a television show to avoid this fall: UPN’s “The Mullets.” • Seann William Scott should legally change his name to Stifler. Most of you reading this probably had no idea who Seann William Scott is until you saw the word “Stifler.” • While driving past the new Save Mart Center, Alberto’s friend Chris made the following comment: “Man, that’s one big supermarket.” • The two greatest words in the English language: Class Canceled. — These columnists can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu |
