Reality shows reflect the breaking of gender myths

Just Joshin' Around By Josh Knoll

For the last six weeks, my mom and I have been glued to the television. No, we haven’t been watching news about the recall chaos or the national embarrassment I like to call the war in Iraq. Instead, our focus has been on a cable-based reality show called “Boy Meets Boy.”

For those unfamiliar with it, here is the gist. One gay male bachelor, James, had to pick from among 15 would-be suitors for a love connection. What he didn’t know was that sprinkled within this group were a number of straight men. Of course, there were different prizes if he ended up picking either a straight man or a gay man. In the end he picked a gay man.

While the concept of the show was somewhat mean-spirited and cruel for messing with James, the show was also an oddly fascinating series.

The viewers, were aware of the twist, but were not told which of the men were straight. The heterosexual bachelors were not allowed to disclose this information and because they were vying for a cash prize, they had to behave in ways to attract James’ attention, while at the same time not giving themselves away as straight to the other suitors.

My mom and I spent entire episodes debating about who was gay and who was straight—and why. Sometimes we picked correctly and other times we were both way far off the mark.

And this was the beauty of the show. As time rolls toward 2004, it is no longer so readily apparent what characteristics define a gay man and which a straight man. The old stereotypes, which I freely admit my mom and I were using, don’t work. Things are blurring. Each group of men is borrowing and trading habits, clothes, behavior, likes, dislikes, attitudes and even jobs.

The show was also interesting on a sociological level when the heterosexual suitors revealed their thoughts when they were eliminated. For many, it was an understanding of what it must feel like to be in the closet, to suppress one’s natural thoughts and feelings. To do things to conform that feel forced and shameful.

All of the men realized that the imagined Grand Canyon between gay and straight men is actually just a tiny gully. Both worry about the same issues, share similar dreams about love and family and try to make it in the world while maintaining their individuality and integrity.

Now Hollywood television executives—never ones to not jump on a bandwagon—are filming a new reality dating show where a woman is picking from a group of potential male suitors. And surprise, surprise—there are gay men mixed in. Watch it and see if your preconceived notions of what defines a straight man or a gay man stand up to the test.

So while I still don’t necessarily support the method of the show due to the potential heartache James faced had he picked a straight man, in the end, I think something more was accomplished. The viewers and participants walked away learning something. The model of what it means to be a “man” whether straight or gay is evolving, encompassing more diversity and choices.

Who would have thought a reality show would actually have some substance? Not me.

— This columnist can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu