I got married at 19 years old.

For some, this may not be surprising. Maybe you have met tons of people in your life who got married young and have nothing but positive things to say about it.

However, for some people, this sounds like nothing short of a nightmare.

Get married while in college? Give up my social life? Have to be “strapped down” with this person at such a young age? Not being able to “live my life” anymore because I’m married?

None of this was the case for me, and here’s why.

One of the best decisions I have ever made was getting married to my high school sweetheart, me at 19 and him at 20. This wasn’t always the dream, though.

For the first half of my high school years, I despised the idea of getting married, despite how much I was awed by the idea of being a beautiful bride and having a handsome husband when I was a little girl. 

The perfect plan I had created in my mind was that I would graduate high school, become a crime scene investigator, eventually work for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and stay single for either the rest of my life or for most of my young adult years. Another student at Fresno State had a similar feeling about marriage. 

“Never would I have thought that I would be married in college or maybe even until my 30s,” said Arianna Aguilera, a fourth-year Agriculture Communications student. 

As for me, that mindset changed quickly, but am I mad about it? Absolutely not.

The real reason I had developed that plan in high school and was so set on sticking to it was because that was all I could hear society telling me. Graduate college, get a stable job, maybe even find a stable place to live and then think about settling down and getting married.

“Growing up, the idea of getting a college degree has always been the first thing my family has put at the forefront of my mind,” Aguilera said. “School was the No. 1 priority and anything else that followed wouldn’t be rejected; however, it also wasn’t encouraged, but never a NO!”

Some people want to work and save money for a wedding because they want to ensure they can live up to or even exceed the expectations of their dream wedding from their childhood. Some people feel more comfortable waiting. Some people truly don’t want to get married at all. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that mindset. If you decide to route your life in that direction, go for it. Do what is best for you. 

A huge part of me changing my mindset on marriage was my faith. 

In my junior year of high school, I decided to give my life to Jesus Christ and become a devout Christian. I had grown up Christian, but long story short, never valued my faith the way I do now until I experienced something in my life that made me think, “Wow, I really have nothing if I don’t have Jesus.”

When I gave my life to Christ my thoughts and desires changed. I also started dating my now husband, Tyler.

I was now OK with the thought of potentially becoming a young wife. I learned to trust God and His perfect plan for me. That is why when I got engaged in February 2024, just a few months before ending my sophomore year at Fresno State, I was full of nothing but joy and excitement. 

I couldn’t wait to get married. I knew it was right. The time was right and he was the right one for me. I will touch on this more a little later in my story, but you must pursue marriage with someone that is right for you. Choose your life partner wisely. It sounds cliché, but when you know you know. Don’t get married just for the heck of it. Does it bring a smile to your face thinking about them being the mother or father to your kids? I know for me it does. 

Fast-forward to college. I began my junior year completely differently than I began my freshman and sophomore years. It wasn’t just me anymore. I had a whole other person to look after and care for.

Life is expensive, especially for college students. Sharing a joint account with my husband has made life so much more affordable for both him and me. We both work, so having two incomes instead of one has led us to not only feel more comfortable with our spending, but also hold each other accountable budgeting-wise. We formed a budget together that has taught us so much about monetary responsibility that I didn’t necessarily think about before, but is so important in the shaping of our future together.  

“Being married in college and being with my husband in general has made me a lot more stress-free, emotionally and financially,” Aguilera said. “I don’t have any close family in Fresno County, as I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. It’s been a hard journey navigating adulthood/college on my own and in a place I didn’t grow up in. Having my partner with me for the journey in college has given me a strong support system.”

What has been beautiful about being married is simply being able to do life with my best friend. A big factor in Gen Z neglecting the idea of marriage is compatibility with your partner. I mean, think about it. This is your person until your last breath. To a lot of people, that is a scary thought, but it shouldn’t be. Be patient.

For someone like me, prayer was huge. God gave me so much confirmation, through my constant prayers, that this was the right decision.

It’s about commitment. Truth be told, a part of this “strapped down” mentality comes from people my age not wanting to take that next step into commitment, regardless of how much they love their partner. Marriage isn’t something dreadful, I promise. 

Commitment is beautiful. It takes work, but is such a profound testament of love. It doesn’t take the fun away from life, it only adds to it. I knew so many girls growing up with the “I hate men” mentality until they found their person; they suddenly became the happiest I had ever seen them. Not every person you are with is “your person.” It definitely wasn’t for me. That is why I say be patient, but don’t give up on the idea of marriage, it is so worth it.

“Marriage is a balance of so many things and with that comes extreme commitment and prioritization of what you need and want out of life,” Aguilera said.

Without my husband, I would have never switched my major to Media, Communications and Journalism (MCJ). I would have never followed my locked-up dream of wanting to be a writer that I had hidden away to pursue law enforcement. Obviously, I wouldn’t even be writing this story. 

Speaking of my major, my husband has been such an asset to my success in school. Through the highest of ups and the lowest of downs, he is there for me. When I feel like giving up with no strength to keep going, he is my strength. A number of Fresno State students feel the same way.

“My marriage has been fantastic so far,” said Spencer Beair, an MCJ student at Fresno State. “In terms of academics, it’s been only a positive. I’ve had a constant pillar of support in my life who helps me get through stressful periods with ease.”

Society will tell you that you lose your “me time” when you get married. First off, that isn’t true. Marriage doesn’t equal attachment at the hip. For some people it might, but for us it doesn’t. My husband and I set aside plenty of “me time” whether it’s him going to the gym and me going to ballet class, me working on schoolwork at a café and him working on things at home, him going out with his friends and me going out with mine, or simply just sitting in different rooms scrolling through social media. 

Second off, look at what marriage gives you. A partner for life. A 24/7 cheerleader, hype person and support system. Society is so focused on what marriage takes away from people and not enough on what it gives to people.

“Being married has given me the tools to better balance work, life, and school, decision-making skills, maturity, and a strong focus on what I need to do for myself as a human being to achieve my goals, wants and needs,” Aguilera said. 

What has also been beautiful is coming across other married students in college, a number that was more than I thought. 

Last semester, I was able to bond with some women about being in college and being married. One of them was Aguilera. I found myself gushing while talking about my husband. Marriage really wasn’t all the negative things people made it out to be.

With all of this being said, what I hope you learned from my story is that young marriage can be a beautiful thing. Young marriage is not a dumb or reckless decision. Young marriage is a desire that so many might have, but tuck it away and pretend like it’s not there because society tells them it’s not a good decision. 

Where there is a will, there is a way. You really do only live once. If you have the confidence and the confirmation that this is your person; if you have the resources and ability to do so, do it. Not only has being married taught me more about myself, it has pushed me to new heights I never knew I could reach. 

Make the commitment. It is more than worth it.