I love saving money.

I’m not perfect. At times I buy things I don’t need. However, more often than not – I get an odd enjoyment out of not spending money. I love flipping through bills or seeing how much money is in my bank account using the app on my phone. There is a collection of cash in my room and just knowing it’s there calms me.

I love pondering the possibilities of things I could spend my money on. Examples include: many pints of the best flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream – phish food, some books from Barnes and Noble or multiple tubes of glittery eyeliner. (This is an unfulfilled dream from my teenage years that I’m still hanging on to as a twenty-one year-old. Is it too late?)

Why don’t I want to spend money? I guess I see spending money as the end, when really – it’s the beginning. I’ll explain.

When I earn money, I feel accomplished. I love thinking about what I could buy. But once I spend it, it’s gone. There’s no more speculation. It feels like it’s over.

But maybe, spending money isn’t the end. Maybe, it’s the beginning. Once you have the item you bought you can use it. You can wear the makeup you chose to purchase, create outfits that incorporate your new jacket or read the books you selected from the book store. The possibilities are ahead of you.

My mother and sister often encourage me to spend money. They don’t want me to be reckless, but I think they’d like to see me enjoy life a little bit more. Maybe this is something I need to work on. Saving money is responsible. But at a certain point it can feel unfulfilling. At times, I wish I had more clothes and books. As Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle said in the hit television show “Parks and Recreation” – treat yo self!