I don’t know about you, but when I’m asked what will make me happy, my first instinct is to begin making a mental list. Like a child writing a Christmas letter to Santa, I think up my heart’s deepest desires: new car, steady job or more zeros at end of my “current account balance.”­

Recently, however, I have realized that I had made a mistake. Happiness isn’t just a goal of human existence; it is the goal of human existence. I don’t want a BMW; I don’t want more money; I want to be happy.

This drive toward happiness causes us to work or to lounge, to hate or to love, to kill or to save, and thus it naturally follows that happiness is not only a goal or achievement, it is also a catalyst.

Happiness is not something that can be bought, nor is it contingent upon material reality; it is psychological.

But if it isn’t something that can be satisfied purely by things, how do we achieve it?

The answer is that it follows from the attainment of our values, from the physical realization of our noncontradictory psychological desires and through achievement that is not marred by guilt or internal struggles.

The problem with my understanding of happiness was rooted in my definition of the term.

The purpose of a definition is the isolation and identification of a thing, whereby you make a distinction between the thing defined and all other things.

Yet, when you look for a definition of­ “happy,” you’re left with “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.”

The purely physical nature of the definition ignores the difference between pleasure and happiness, where they are considered synonyms for one another.

What we need is an objective definition of happiness. Such a definition should differentiate happiness from more than just its opposites, but also distinguishes it among other similar ideas.

While people’s happiness is dependent upon their own subjective view of the world, there must be some nonrepetitive way to establish the limitations and qualifications of happiness.

In order to do so, I propose that we make a distinction between pleasure and happiness, where pleasure is thought of as instant gratification and happiness as a long-term psychological condition.

It is true that happiness is dependent upon the feeling of pleasure, yet pleasure is not dependent upon happiness. Drinking coffee can give you pleasure, but it will not necessarily make you happy.

The dictionary’s definition allows people who are momentarily satisfied to consider themselves happy, but what about when the moment is gone?

Take an alcoholic who drinks in order to create his own pleasure, for example. He will be able to drink, and he will feel pleasure so long as he never stops. If he does stop drinking, he will be left without his coping mechanism and will be forced to examine his choices, question the direction of his life and, if he chooses not to face his demons, he will be left unhappy, guilty and in need of more alcohol.

On the other hand, let’s consider a student who has received an “A” on a paper, a writer who just finished his first book or an employee who finally got the raise for which he had been working hard.

These individuals’ accomplishments will result in gratification, but it can also lead to a psychological state of happiness.

Assuming they have no sense of guilt associated with these activities, they will be able to build from their achievements and maintain their happiness.

Ultimately, the problem is that we live in a complex world and there are many different options available to us. The key is knowing which one will work for us.

Marrying a very wealthy person can make you happy if all you care about getting from the relationship is money, but it won’t necessarily if you’re looking for love and compassion.

Having a child can make you happy if you have something to impress upon them and the future, but won’t if it is an unexamined desire based purely on a combination of social expectation and biological compulsion.

Shopping will take your mind off your problems, but it cannot replace them.

Attaining happiness requires self analysis and the development of a logical foundation for the choices we make.

The cost of my reliance upon a faulty definition of happiness was 5 years and a lot of money I didn’t have. My mistake was believing college would be enough; that I could just go to school and my dream job would magically present itself.

I attempted to avoid thinking about it, and now I must suffer the consequences.

I know I am young and I am painfully aware of the fact that I have no clue what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I do know that if I want to be happy, whatever I do must fit consistently within my own value system.