Women place a big portion of their self-confidence in their hair.
The New York Times is the latest to confirm this cultural phenomenon. Two weeks ago, writer Dominique Browning chronicled her decision to keep her hair long at mid-age. Standard social conventions imply that after a certain age it is inappropriate for women to wear their hair long, that it is a privilege reserved only for young women. What Browning wrote, though, flies in the face of normalized views of what is and isn’t age-appropriate.
“No one seems to have any problems when a woman of a certain age cuts her hair off,” wrote Browning. “It is considered the appropriate thing to do, as if being shorn is a way of releasing oneself from the locks of the past.”
Those who think short hair on older women is most acceptable hold on to their traditional standard of the way an older woman is supposed to identify herself despite this new take on older women’s identity. Mothers, famous nitpickers if there ever were any, are especially prone to fuss over their daughter’s hair. There are many times over the course of my childhood when I was forced to get a “trim,” only to come out with a chin-length haircut that I did not ask for.
Browning, by the same token, is still fussed over by her mother at 55, with queries like “Where did you get that shirt? Did you forget your makeup?” She adds that hair is still a common issue between her and her mother, as with my mother and me.
The biggest question this raises is one that women of all ages need to ask themselves: How does my hair reflect me?
Like the clothes we wear and the way we present ourselves, the ability to go beyond social norms and wear our hair the way we deem appropriate takes strength that many women lose after a certain age. The social convention that mandates long hair on women is inappropriate after 35 or 40 doesn’t have to be a social convention anymore, and women like Browning who buck tradition and do what they please are, unfortunately, few and far between.
It is normal for most women to fold under the pressure of looking a certain way, of adhering to strict social standards of what is and isn’t acceptable or age-appropriate. The act of rising above, though, suggests a sense of self that most women either lose over time or never had in the first place.
Hair, though most people think of it as a superficial way to measure self-confidence, plays a bigger role in how we women see ourselves than we think.
Whether you’re 20 years old with short hair or a woman in your 50s with gray hair down to your waist, the strength to challenge social conventions, even if it’s just sporting a different hairstyle, is an admirable act indeed. Even if it doesn’t change the world, the chance that it could change even one person’s idea of what’s socially acceptable is a risk worth taking.