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This week in sports

We had an incredibly exciting men’s national championship on Monday, the women’s championship last night, opening days in baseball on Sunday and Monday and the Masters golf tournament Thursday through Sunday. Look for uncut grass, a plethora of sick days and many cars with engine problems as guys will most likely be planted to their favorite chair with remote in hand for the duration of the week. Sorry ladies!

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CNN slowly dying

CNN has tried to be the sane alternative to Democratic News Network (MSNBC) and the Republican News Network (Fox News), but they have failed miserably. Instead of being non-partisan, they have just been extremely boring. A solution? Bring back shows like “Crossfire” where you have both sides of the spectrum represented. It can’t be any worse than now, when it’s losing the ratings battle to Cartoon Network!

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New sex study

According to the study, only 20 percent of college students think oral sex counts as sex. Which isn’t the reason for this thumb. The reason? 98 percent think vaginal intercourse counts. Who are these two percent that think otherwise?!

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Republican party’s frivolous ways

Apparently, the Republican National Committee spent almost $2,000 for young staffers to go to a bondage-themed nightclub. Besides being a complete waste of money, it is morally reprehensible. The Republicans claim to be the party of good Christian morals. How about they follow their own advice?