Rumor has it that the prequel to the epic Halo Trilogy titled “Halo Reach” will inject into your boyfriend’s Xbox 360 on the first of September.

Having suffered minor injuries from dating a gamer, I would consider myself an expert in the field.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, a Halo addict did in fact pop my cherry.

It is not the act of wasting countless hours on World of Warcraft, Gears of War or Call of Duty that screams sex appeal. It’s substituting personal hygiene, physical activity and sleep for game play that really turns me on.

Ridicule me if you must, but we both know the person on the opposite end of the headset isn’t going to shower and shave for you.

You may think I am over exaggerating. And yes, I tend to do that a lot. However, this is not one of those times.

The term closeted originated in the 1600s as a means to keep something hidden. However, in the mid-20th century, the catchphrase “in the closet” classified lesbian, gay, bi and transgender individuals who chose not to disclose their sexuality.

Most recently, the expression spawned a new breed””the closet gamer.

My friend, who would prefer to remain anonymous, is in a relationship with a WOW groupie. For all you non-gamers out there, WOW is the acronym for World of Warcraft.

As the amount of time her boyfriend spends simulating the Blood Elf in the remote realm of the Outland increases, the quality of their relationship decreases.

And he isn’t alone. Criminology major and avid Modern Warfare player Adam Anguiano said he can stay on his PlayStation for two to three hours and not even notice time went by so quickly.

“The longest I’ve ever played is between five to six hours straight,” Anguiano said. “Of course sometimes you’ve got to eat, so you have to turn off the system. Or your girlfriend calls to yell at you because you’re not talking to her.

However, it’s not deliberate.

“A lot of times I’ll be playing my video games and my girlfriend will call me and I don’t answer because I’m doing so good in a round,” Anguiano said. “I don’t want to mess up. The second you answer you’re going to get picked off.”

Although he may not consider himself an addict, the signs are clear.

Tamyra Pierce, Ph.D., an associate professor in Fresno State’s mass communication and journalism department (aka Dr. P), researches the effects that video games have on college-aged students.

The predictable results indicated that males tend to play more war games than their female counterparts. In addition, Pierce attested that first-person shooter games and Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPG) are addicting because they have no ending.

Even a few men of The Collegian staff are in denial about their favorite pastime. But one in particular””you know who you are””makes the claim that he is an ex-gamer. What does that even mean? Did you and Dungeons and Dragons have a falling out? Is it just strictly friends with benefits now? Personally, I don’t get it.

What I have discovered is that it’s the amount of time spent with a game console that defines each player. So, all my single ladies and my non-closet gays brace yourself for the only three categories: Hardcore gamer, closet gamer or the friend of one of the first two categories that plays because he’s bored and has nothing better to do.

Is gaming a hobby? Absolutely. Is it an appropriate use of time? Of course not.

However, it all boils down to one question: Does chasing a new high score beat spending time with your main squeeze?

If the answer is yes, it’s time to find a new hobby or a new partner.