.jpg "Matt Weir")
Being a gentleman is something I think is almost completely lost among guys in my generation.
What ever happened to opening doors for girls when you get into a car? What ever happened to holding a door open when entering a building? When did the concept of “kiss and tellâ€Â become acceptable? I’m starting to think I’m one of the only ones who still thinks being a gentleman is a good thing.
I know that not all of the fault falls on guys. Girls just don’t seem to appreciate chivalry very much anymore. I don’t want to be cliché and say that chivalry is dead, but it’s getting there.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that “times have changedâ€Â and the world isn’t the same as it was 50 years ago. But that doesn’t mean everything has to be different, does it? I don’t know who decided that opening a door for a girl is offensive, but I think that idea is ridiculous. Maybe it’s a part of the whole feminism idea, maybe not.
Here’s an example: on more than one occasion, I’ve gone to open a door for a girl, and I was told that she was “perfectly capable of opening it for herself.â€Â
Another example is carrying books or groceries. I would offer to help carry an armload of books or maybe some grocery bags and I get a similar response: “I can carry it myself. I’m not weak just because I’m a girl.â€Â
This is where I start to get frustrated.
When I open a door for a girl, it̢۪s not because I don̢۪t think she can do it herself. In fact, I would be a bit concerned if she couldn̢۪t. That isn̢۪t the point. The point is it̢۪s polite. Especially if I̢۪m slightly ahead of her when we approach the door. I would be rude if I didn̢۪t hold it open for her, wouldn̢۪t I? Not only is it polite, but maybe it makes me feel good. Maybe I enjoy being helpful.
The same goes for carrying things. Obviously if a girl is carrying a piece of paper and a pencil, I̢۪m not going to offer to carry it for her. But if she̢۪s carrying a bag, two books and a bunch of papers, then yes, I̢۪m going to offer to carry something. Is that so wrong?
I don’t think so, but the reaction I get sometimes is almost like I’m saying, “You’re a girl and there is no possible way you could carry all of those things, and I’m a big strong man so let me take them for you.â€Â It’s crazy. I think this whole feminist idea of “girls deserve to be treated equallyâ€Â is great. I do. But I also think that it gets blown way out of proportion sometimes.
Not all of it is to be blamed on girls. I know plenty of guys who have no idea what it means to be a gentleman. I guess all I can do is stick to my ideals and hope that someone will appreciate it.
still a feminist • Oct 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I am a feminist. I love it when guys offer to help me because WHO doesn’t need help. As far as opening the door for me…that’s great if a man has already reached the door before me and then opens it…I find it in poor taste when men push past me, running into me and dart their hand in front of mine to open the door (look I have already opened 5 doors today, how am I suppose to know this is a special occation.)
I love men with good manners…please help me carry groceries and if you are my partner help me put them away. help me with household chores. How many college students are females living with a male college student and you cook or clean for him, he just doesn’t notice that the house needs swept and mopped or there are dishes in the sink? My fiance is a really good guy I am so lucky he helps me with laundry and other tedious chores but I have many female friends that have become their boyfriends, husbands, or fiances “mom” and men don’t need a personal servant. Let’s do some teamwork and tackle things as a team…with each of us helping one another with all the duties that includes: changing the oil in our cars, feeding the dog, making spaghetti, etc . Sure! I ‘ll put on some gloves and help you weed the yard just ask, it isn’t “your job.”
still a feminist • Oct 12, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I am a feminist. I love it when guys offer to help me because WHO doesn’t need help. As far as opening the door for me…that’s great if a man has already reached the door before me and then opens it…I find it in poor taste when men push past me, running into me and dart their hand in front of mine to open the door (look I have already opened 5 doors today, how am I suppose to know this is a special occation.)
I love men with good manners…please help me carry groceries and if you are my partner help me put them away. help me with household chores. How many college students are females living with a male college student and you cook or clean for him, he just doesn’t notice that the house needs swept and mopped or there are dishes in the sink? My fiance is a really good guy I am so lucky he helps me with laundry and other tedious chores but I have many female friends that have become their boyfriends, husbands, or fiances “mom” and men don’t need a personal servant. Let’s do some teamwork and tackle things as a team…with each of us helping one another with all the duties that includes: changing the oil in our cars, feeding the dog, making spaghetti, etc . Sure! I ‘ll put on some gloves and help you weed the yard just ask, it isn’t “your job.”
Lindsay • Oct 12, 2009 at 3:58 am
I find it entertaining you are the one calling me asinine. Because of the fact I am not being a judgmental prick, you have called me fat, ugly, stupid, a moron, idiot, and apparently a dump truck. Yet you are the one calling me asinine? My sincere apologies if being a decent human being and not judgmental makes me an ass. This is my last entry on this article seeing as I have made my points clear, and I have done so with dignity. The last thing I leave you with Paige, is I really hope you are that beautiful on the outside, because hun, you have a lot to make up for on the inside. Hope life treats you fairly.
Lindsay • Oct 12, 2009 at 10:58 am
I find it entertaining you are the one calling me asinine. Because of the fact I am not being a judgmental prick, you have called me fat, ugly, stupid, a moron, idiot, and apparently a dump truck. Yet you are the one calling me asinine? My sincere apologies if being a decent human being and not judgmental makes me an ass. This is my last entry on this article seeing as I have made my points clear, and I have done so with dignity. The last thing I leave you with Paige, is I really hope you are that beautiful on the outside, because hun, you have a lot to make up for on the inside. Hope life treats you fairly.
Paige • Oct 12, 2009 at 1:56 am
Lindsay: Asinine!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so stupid, it is an embarrassment that you are supposedly college educated. The reason that this author is getting the poor reactions from girls that he does is because of how ugly he is. Do you actually think if a good looking guy opened the door for a girl or offered to carry their groceries that they would respond negatively? Idiot. Instead of seeing it as a nice gesture and being thankful for it, the girls see an ugly guy as a creep and a weirdo when he does this. You are a moron. Now, please go back to the Rec Center and try to attain a weight of a human and not a dump truck. Also, keep on the lookout for when face transplant operations will be available for you to undergo. Thank you.
Paige • Oct 12, 2009 at 8:56 am
Lindsay: Asinine!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so stupid, it is an embarrassment that you are supposedly college educated. The reason that this author is getting the poor reactions from girls that he does is because of how ugly he is. Do you actually think if a good looking guy opened the door for a girl or offered to carry their groceries that they would respond negatively? Idiot. Instead of seeing it as a nice gesture and being thankful for it, the girls see an ugly guy as a creep and a weirdo when he does this. You are a moron. Now, please go back to the Rec Center and try to attain a weight of a human and not a dump truck. Also, keep on the lookout for when face transplant operations will be available for you to undergo. Thank you.
Lindsay • Oct 10, 2009 at 11:39 pm
LOL You can think whatever you want of me. You do not know me, and how you talk about others on here so negatively, just because you want to, not because it pertains to anything, just tells people you: A. Are really that obnoxious and attention seeking. B. You have some serious issues about your own looks or personality and you find it easier to belittle others than to come to terms with the fact you are how you are. or C. Are really just that full of yourself. None of which are good qualities. This article was not even him complaining about not having a girl, or necessarily having any problems with girls, it was merely stating the fact that females are more likely now to take kind gestures from males as a male trying to “one-up them” now then it was in the past years. He was using his own personal experience to justify what he was writing. For all you know he has a adoring girlfriend, maybe he doesn’t. But what gives you the right to judge someone’s beauty from a single mug shot photo? Maybe look at some of your own pictures, the ones you can erase from your camera before anyone else sees them, or the ones you decide you don’t want showing up on Facebook, You can’t judge someone from a single photo, and if you do, its just asking others to judge you based on that single comment.
Lindsay • Oct 11, 2009 at 6:39 am
LOL You can think whatever you want of me. You do not know me, and how you talk about others on here so negatively, just because you want to, not because it pertains to anything, just tells people you: A. Are really that obnoxious and attention seeking. B. You have some serious issues about your own looks or personality and you find it easier to belittle others than to come to terms with the fact you are how you are. or C. Are really just that full of yourself. None of which are good qualities. This article was not even him complaining about not having a girl, or necessarily having any problems with girls, it was merely stating the fact that females are more likely now to take kind gestures from males as a male trying to “one-up them” now then it was in the past years. He was using his own personal experience to justify what he was writing. For all you know he has a adoring girlfriend, maybe he doesn’t. But what gives you the right to judge someone’s beauty from a single mug shot photo? Maybe look at some of your own pictures, the ones you can erase from your camera before anyone else sees them, or the ones you decide you don’t want showing up on Facebook, You can’t judge someone from a single photo, and if you do, its just asking others to judge you based on that single comment.
Paige • Oct 10, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Lindsay: WRONG!!!! By your comment, I can tell that you are probably fat and ugly. You need to blame your parents too for making you look terrible. No good looking girl would say this guy is attractive.
Paige • Oct 11, 2009 at 6:07 am
Lindsay: WRONG!!!! By your comment, I can tell that you are probably fat and ugly. You need to blame your parents too for making you look terrible. No good looking girl would say this guy is attractive.
Lindsay • Oct 10, 2009 at 12:59 am
Matt, just keep being you, people love you for what you do and who you are. Yes, some people don’t appreciate it, but there are many out there who do not expect it, and when you hold the door for them or help cary their books, they are genuinely grateful and appreciative. If a girl cannot handle a little kindness, then that is their problem and not yours. and ignore Paige btw. thats just rude and uncalled for in ANY situation and not true AT ALL.
Lindsay • Oct 10, 2009 at 7:59 am
Matt, just keep being you, people love you for what you do and who you are. Yes, some people don’t appreciate it, but there are many out there who do not expect it, and when you hold the door for them or help cary their books, they are genuinely grateful and appreciative. If a girl cannot handle a little kindness, then that is their problem and not yours. and ignore Paige btw. thats just rude and uncalled for in ANY situation and not true AT ALL.
Paige • Oct 10, 2009 at 12:14 am
Dude. Look in the mirror. That is why you have trouble with girls. You should be mad at your parents for giving you terrible genetics.
Paige • Oct 10, 2009 at 7:14 am
Dude. Look in the mirror. That is why you have trouble with girls. You should be mad at your parents for giving you terrible genetics.
the cool kid • Oct 9, 2009 at 11:17 am
Most recently I got a very confused/suprised reaction but a thank you nonetheless.
the cool kid • Oct 9, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Most recently I got a very confused/suprised reaction but a thank you nonetheless.
the cool kid • Oct 9, 2009 at 10:58 am
I don’t know what’s going on with the women you try to help out but at least ninety percent of the women that I hold the door for thank me and all of them don’t complain. I guess it just takes time to get used to something not seen often.
the cool kid • Oct 9, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I don’t know what’s going on with the women you try to help out but at least ninety percent of the women that I hold the door for thank me and all of them don’t complain. I guess it just takes time to get used to something not seen often.
jennifer • Oct 9, 2009 at 9:47 am
I have just three things to say. Are you single? How old are you? and when can you go on a date? j/k , j/k lol, but seriously like fyi stated, it’s a good thing, keep doing what you are doing, the right girl will come along, and really appreciate it, and love you for being such a gentlemen. Some girls like that kind of thing ; )
jennifer • Oct 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I have just three things to say. Are you single? How old are you? and when can you go on a date? j/k , j/k lol, but seriously like fyi stated, it’s a good thing, keep doing what you are doing, the right girl will come along, and really appreciate it, and love you for being such a gentlemen. Some girls like that kind of thing ; )
fyi • Oct 9, 2009 at 8:21 am
you keep being you…those girls you mention CLEARLY have issues…i love when a man opens the door its respectful and classy
fyi • Oct 9, 2009 at 3:21 pm
you keep being you…those girls you mention CLEARLY have issues…i love when a man opens the door its respectful and classy