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Fresno Monsters Mullet Night

Wear a mullet (real or fake) to the game on Friday and get in for 5 bucks. If there’s a hat trick you can even throw your mullet on the ice. This is what minor-league hockey is all about, er, aboot.

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Already cliché “Carrâ€Â
metaphor

“Bulldogs get new Carr.â€Â “Bulldogs should test drive this new Carr.” “Carr drives offense like an old school Cadillac.â€Â “Carr ‘breaks down’ A.K.A. injures his metatarsal.â€Â We get it! Please “driveâ€Â this idea off a cliff.

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Big Fresno Fair

From the inebriated bull riders to the carnies, the gamblers and the bungee jumpers, there are one million and one ways to make a fool of yourself starting this Wednesday. Mullets welcome.

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Scary Ape Fossil

Thanks, scientific community, for creeping everybody out last week with your disturbing drawing of the 4.4 million-year-old human ancestor. Next time we’ll just take your word for it okay?

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Oktoberfest

Chicks in beer wench outfits. Need we say more? Yes, beer.

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TMI

Talking about prospective kids on the second date, number, gender and names (Luke and Colby) is not appropriate conversation at this point in time. If you want a third date, please refrain.