On Thursday, the official I Am Fresno State videos were released, and in an instant, I was pretty much bombarded with fan mail pleading for me to review and opinion-ize on them.

As you may have figured out by now, the use of the words “pretty much” in the previous sentence is a stand-in phrase for “not at all.” But since the best course of action of any blog is to minimize the potential for suckiness, I’ll stick with the original plan.

Therefore, using a formula I like to call personal bias, my unofficial winner of the 2009 I Am Fresno State video contest is:

I assume you need no explanation as to why.

But because I̢۪m a nice guy, I̢۪ll dismiss the embedded video from contention for being my official champion. You have to admit though, I shameless plug with the best of them.

I counted 15 videos in the official video queue on the YouTube page, no more than half of which have a chance to win.

I’m calling the video by Sean Yandall the sleeping giant of the bunch because it features a kid, a move used by only the craftiest of veterans in the contest game. May as well have slipped a $20 bill under the judges’ table.

Anderson Kith also was a favorite of mine, and he pulled out all the stops. The editing programs and sound features were hard at work, and the intense/dramatic music and whoosh sounds always add intrigue. Yuichi Murano seems to represent the theme of the contest well in the video, but I needed some subtitles to understand some of what he said.

But only one video made me spring for popcorn and turn off the lights, and that was Xeng Xai Xiong̢۪s trailer-like action flick.

I must say though, the most impressive part of the video was his remarkable ability to find a front-row parking space. How he did it, I don̢۪t know, but he gets bonus points.

The jumping over cars, walking down stairs on his hands and limbo-ing under a one-foot-high bar came in a close second, though.

As I watch these videos, I can̢۪t help but feel like the Mel Kiper of I Am Fresno State video reviewers. I̢۪m hitting the film room hard, and it seems to be paying off.

With one video left for discussion, now is a good time to point out the fact that I̢۪m a sucker for people who represent Fresno State with pride. I myself don̢۪t pack anything other that Fresno State attire when I travel.

So when I saw Chris Healy̢۪s video slideshow of pictures taken out of town while wearing his Bulldogs wardrobe, I declared it the frontrunner. It̢۪s also the only video with comments, three out of four of which are positive. The fourth comment, written in six different languages, would take additional research for me to understand.

Rule number one: additional research equals comment disqualified. So really, all of the comments are positive, not that it matters.

I̢۪ve studied the tapes, broken down the film and well, that̢۪s about it.

So now, without further delay, I give you my final results for the best I Am Fresno State videos for the 2009 season:

Fourth place: Sean Yandall
Third place: Anderson Kith
Second place: Xeng Xai Xiong
First place: Chris Healy

OK, now you can get off the edge of your seat, or go back to your nap. I’m pretty sure I just did a good a solid “typedâ€Â version of Vin Scully. If I didn’t do it, he definitely will.