A couple of weeks ago I was going through a real tough time while simultaneously trying to better my life with more positive thinking.

When we are at our worst, it is then we must try our best.

Therefore, I was trying. However, life was not exactly helping.

I will go ahead and play the pity card first; I am five months pregnant. The changes in my body are as incredible as my moods.

In addition, I have never been the perkiest person, so that does not help.

I commute to school from Lemoore three times a week. My first class starts at 10 a.m. That would not be so bad if I did not have to get my son to school by 7:30 a.m.

My due date and the start of what should be my final semester at Fresno State, are also colliding quite nicely.

Then, I am anticipating an extra 60 pounds of fun to cool me through our gruesome summer heat, before I pop in August.

On that particular day, weeks ago, I am running late. When I exit at Shaw Ave. off Highway 41, the traffic is backed up to the first yellow sign with a black arrow indicating the substantial curve in the road. I wait through three green lights; I am able to cross onto Shaw at the fourth.

My car is overheating. The thin indicator is hovering very close to the bold red line, next to the H, indicating hot as Hades.

I have all the windows rolled down and the heater running full blast, a trick I learned as a child riding in the clunkers my mom called cars.

The 10 minutes I had to spare when I exited at Shaw have passed.

I breathlessly stride into class 12 minutes late, only to find out that I will be making an impromptu trip to Fresno on Thursday evening for ArtHop, to which there is a paper assigned.

I just add it to the list.

These days are full of forgetfulness. I spaced a promise to my editor and I missed an important meeting with my professor.

If I do not write it down or deal it out at the time of conception, it is lost is less than 60 seconds. It could come back, but that is a shot in the dark not worth hoping for.

The atmosphere is broken, the economy is drying up and the struggle is getting harder. The nightly news pains my optimism with every headline.

Nevertheless, I have to love this day. It does not matter that foundations are built on further plans. I have to appreciate the stability provided now.

I do not like being late, but once I am, no amount of unhappiness will turn back the clock.

I do not like forgetting, but once I have, all I can do is apologize.

Life is only a struggle if you make it that way.