Photo from McClatchy Tribune

Well, I finally saw the remake of “Friday the 13th, or should I say the “reimaginingâ€Â?

And guess what? It̢۪s nothing more than a connect-the-dots sequel.

In fact, if it weren̢۪t for all the sex and violence, I̢۪d say go ahead and take your two-year-old. It̢۪s that easy to follow.

What we have here is another bunch of pretty white people (with the token Asian and African-American just to let you know the filmmakers are down with diversity) frolicking in the woods near the now-abandoned Camp Crystal Lake, where Jason once roamed.

Director Marcus Nispel would have you believe that all young people think about are sex and pot, and not only that, but they̢۪ve all just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad.

But don’t worry, there are plenty of tits and booze to go around, as “Supernaturalâ€Â hunk Jared Padalecki and good-girl Danielle Panabaker go in search of his missing sister (Amanda Righetti), encountering all manner of grungy hicks and succulent marijuana plants along the way.

So, of course they stumble upon Jason̢۪s white-trash hideaway, and off they go to warn the others.

What ensues are a series of garden-variety killings that don̢۪t muster up much originality (with the exception of being dangled over a campfire to roast alive).

I don̢۪t know, maybe I̢۪m just becoming desensitized, but as a hardcore horror buff, it takes a lot to get me to cringe anymore, having seen every murder get done and redone to the point of literal overkill.

The dialogue is not much better, the script adequate at best, but a few poetic gems do somehow manage to slip through, like “they don’t call me the wood wizard because I masturbate a lot.â€Â (I dare any Oscar-winning screenwriter to try and top that.)

And you know, I probably would have enjoyed this kind of mindless splatter fest several years ago when my standards were considerably lower.

“Anything with a sex scene and a beheading,â€Â that was my motto.

But when true prizes like “My Bloody Valentineâ€Â come along, it makes you realize that horror movies don’t have to suck when it comes to production values.

But perhaps the greatest sin of this new “Friday the 13thâ€Â is its predictability .

When your mom is snoring in the seat next to you, your best friend is laughing her ass off and you’re shouting out the scares before they even occur, it’s kind of like watching a repeat of “Mystery Science Theatre 3000.â€Â