Last weekend I saw my first Ultimate Fighting Championship bout on TV. Man, was that exciting! I haven’t seen a beat down that violent since the last time I searched for “Fresno Policeâ€Â on YouTube.

It got me thinking, maybe I should learn some mixed martial arts myself, just in case the campus police pick up a few bad habits from their city brethren.

After thinking it over I decided against it, but in the spirit of UFC, I’m giving my column the “old one-twoâ€Â:

1. A recent New York Times article cited new research which suggests that eating dirt (and even worms) is good for the immune system of babies.

2. Hmm, good economy in the late ̢۪90s: Viagra is invented. Bad economy in the late 2000s: dirt is good for you. Conspiracy, anyone?

1. Barack Obama̢۪s address to Congress on Tuesday night was followed by the GOP rebuttal from Bobby Jindal, who is an early hopeful for the 2012 Republican presidential ticket.

2. Did anybody else find this guy extremely creepy? His accent was strange, he had the smile of a serial killer, and it sounded like he was reading a bedtime story- from Hell. Let’s hope we never hear him say “stimulusâ€Â or “packageâ€Â ever again.

1. Speaking of stimulus packages, I came up with my own, just for California. First, set up a Prop 8 runoff election. Then, once all the out-of-state millions in advertising start to stimulate the economy, call the whole thing off!

2. Before you call this idea unethical, try to name at least one bigger waste of money than Prop 8 advertising.

1. As it turns out, those mysterious, celebrity-filled “Gâ€Â commercials which ran in January were all part of a rebranding effort by Gatorade.

2. Gatorade was one of the few winners the night of the presidential address. Gatorade̢۪s campaign doesn̢۪t seem nearly as ill-advised and disappointing in light of Jindal̢۪s speech.

1. An editorial in last Sunday̢۪s Fresno Bee blasted the new plan to revive the San Joaquin River. For those that don̢۪t know, the San Joaquin Chinook (Salmon) went extinct in the 1950s after a dam was built to divert the river for irrigation. Among other things, the new plan will revive the river in an effort to save the endangered Sacramento Chinook from the same fate.

2. It seems the political bias against the central San Joaquin Valley extends all the way to the fish. I think the San Joaquin Chinook should have rebranded. The “Los Angeles Chinook of Anaheimâ€Â would never have gotten such a cold shoulder from the state.

1. Some of my Facebook friends have started announcing to the world that they are “attendingâ€Â various events by watching them on TV.

2. I know this is America, but surely we haven̢۪t crossed that threshold of laziness yet. The weather is nice, there are basketball games tonight and tomorrow, and those Peace Garden mounds are just screaming for a picnic.