Biased rush to condemn Nadya Suleman
When Nadya Suleman gave birth to octuplets on Jan. 26, the rest of the world gaped in open amazement.
But when it came out that she was a single mother who already had six other children, that amazement quickly turned to scorn.
All I could think was “who does this chick think she is?â€Â
As more details emerged, the media went wild with the story. She was unemployed, her student loans were used up and she was in the process of sucking the welfare system dry.
But then I saw Suleman̢۪s interview with Ann Curry, and my disgust gradually began to fade away.
The press had a blast pointing out her pathetic attempts to justify herself, and to imitate Angelina Jolie. She was so obviously just some “wannabe,â€Â hoping to leech some fame and quick cash from the system.
Maybe so, but I came away from that interview feeling quite different.
As an only child myself, I can understand Suleman̢۪s loneliness; with multiple imaginary playmates and the desire for a large family someday. I even used to joke that no less than 500 kids would do, but that doesn̢۪t really seem that funny to me anymore.
I also couldn̢۪t help but admire her will and determination to start a family, even after a divorce, myriad fertility and financial setbacks.
But what affected me the most was her staunch belief that every one of those embryos deserved a chance to grow into a human being, and her refusal to discard any of them.
I̢۪ve flip-flopped on the abortion issue practically my whole life, but when my best friend became pregnant late last year, my perspective changed. Seeing her ultrasound pictures and realizing that I have a chance to be a surrogate aunt, I began to see life for the miracle that it really is.
Perhaps what bothers me the most about the reactions to Suleman̢۪s octuplets is the fact that if she were married, this whole situation would probably be viewed in quite a different light.
Couples like Jon and Kate Gosselin and Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey, who have had sextuplets and septuplets respectively, gained mostly favorable media attention, as they have been featured in Ladies Home Journal and/or star in their own reality show.
And then there are Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, who had their 18th child last year. I don̢۪t see anyone chewing them out for procreating to such a degree.
And yes, I know. They can afford it, so why not?
I do agree that Nadya Suleman is in way over her head; I also wonder what she could possibly have been thinking when she had all those embryos implanted, even if she didn̢۪t think all of them would stick.
Still, I can̢۪t help but admire and respect someone who stands by her choices and convictions despite almost universal ridicule and condemnation.
And if I were her, I̢۪d take Angels of Mercy up on their offers of help, because I doubt anybody else is going to foot the bill.
strawberry cream • Mar 3, 2009 at 3:21 pm
She chose to have the embryos implanted inside of her because she wants the children. It was not as if she had a husband and it was done naturally. If she was psychologically damaged to the point of wanting a big family of her own, why go beyond the six that she already have? Is that not enough children? Okay, so she bare no shame for having eight more… big deal… alright, so she is courageous to take on the media. So what? It doesn’t exactly make her a hero.
I come from a community where contraception is rarely known and people do not know much about the modern ways of preventing birth, either than abstinence. And there are a lot of families who can’t afford to take care of their children but still have many children. The differences here is that they don’t know how to prevent pregnancy either than not having sex; Suleman is a college-bound woman, she should have known better, and she didn’t have these children through sexual relation, they were implanted inside of her just because she want them.
strawberry cream • Mar 3, 2009 at 10:21 pm
She chose to have the embryos implanted inside of her because she wants the children. It was not as if she had a husband and it was done naturally. If she was psychologically damaged to the point of wanting a big family of her own, why go beyond the six that she already have? Is that not enough children? Okay, so she bare no shame for having eight more… big deal… alright, so she is courageous to take on the media. So what? It doesn’t exactly make her a hero.
I come from a community where contraception is rarely known and people do not know much about the modern ways of preventing birth, either than abstinence. And there are a lot of families who can’t afford to take care of their children but still have many children. The differences here is that they don’t know how to prevent pregnancy either than not having sex; Suleman is a college-bound woman, she should have known better, and she didn’t have these children through sexual relation, they were implanted inside of her just because she want them.
detective nordberg • Feb 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm
i second the whatever comment. Maybe we’ve witnessed some selective outrage with this mom versus similar cases——then again the factors in play here were just too good for the media not to expose this women for the trash she is. She’s not going to lead to the downfall of society—–but if we treat her as a hero for simply birthing science lab babies, we might have some real issues.
detective nordberg • Feb 26, 2009 at 5:28 am
i second the whatever comment. Maybe we’ve witnessed some selective outrage with this mom versus similar cases——then again the factors in play here were just too good for the media not to expose this women for the trash she is. She’s not going to lead to the downfall of society—–but if we treat her as a hero for simply birthing science lab babies, we might have some real issues.
whatever • Feb 23, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I agree that it’s unfair for some to have seemingly millions of kids and no one really get upset about it, and there are tons and tons of poor families with tons of kids and no apparent way to pay for it, but you don’t hear it scrutinized in such a way.
It sucks how sometimes one person is chosen as the one to scrutinize publicly, as in the stories of missing persons that get a lot of national coverage while others never make it to the local paper.
That being said, it’s not about her CONVICTIONS. Someone could decide that all he really want to do in the world is kill people, and NO ONE CAN STOP it. haha having conviction doesn’t mean your intentions are acceptable!
That being said, I don’t think a limit on children is necessary or acceptable in this country.
The reason for such ridicule and scorn here is that having that many children in her situation is nothing short of insane and completely irresponsible.
I guess we should just be thankful that this sort of thing is so rare.
whatever • Feb 23, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I agree that it’s unfair for some to have seemingly millions of kids and no one really get upset about it, and there are tons and tons of poor families with tons of kids and no apparent way to pay for it, but you don’t hear it scrutinized in such a way.
It sucks how sometimes one person is chosen as the one to scrutinize publicly, as in the stories of missing persons that get a lot of national coverage while others never make it to the local paper.
That being said, it’s not about her CONVICTIONS. Someone could decide that all he really want to do in the world is kill people, and NO ONE CAN STOP it. haha having conviction doesn’t mean your intentions are acceptable!
That being said, I don’t think a limit on children is necessary or acceptable in this country.
The reason for such ridicule and scorn here is that having that many children in her situation is nothing short of insane and completely irresponsible.
I guess we should just be thankful that this sort of thing is so rare.