(that aren̢۪t at all important for this election)

SARAH PALIN HAS BEEN GETTING A LOT OF attention since the announcement that she would be running alongside John McCain. Unfortunately, most of that attention has been for things either absolutely irrelevant to the office of the vice presidency or inflated in importance.

The following list — designed to be observed by liberals, conservatives and moderates alike — details some of the most popular things attributed to Palin as either a credit or blemish on Palin’s resume, but really are neither.

5. Her “executive experience.â€Â Palin was the governor of a state with a population smaller than that of Fresno County. If the leadership of the guy that more than 18 million New Yorkers turned to after Sept. 11 wasn’t good enough for the GOP, why is Palin’s?

4. Her former association with the Wasilla Assembly of God, a Pentecostal church. Oh please. So a few of her fellow church-goers liked speaking in tongues. Palin left the congregation in 2002 for the more mainstream Wasilla Bible Church, a community of nondenominational worshipers whose liturgical rituals are bland by comparison. I say props to her for getting out before they made her take up snake handling.

3. Her pregnant daughter. In an ironic turn of events, some Democrats have criticized the Palins as hypocritical and irresponsible, while Republicans laud her for the “courageâ€Â it apparently takes to carry a child to term and marry the father. I don’t think it really says anything about anything, except that good conservative Christian girls are about as likely to get knocked up as their atheistic, commie pinko classmates. And none of it has anything to do with their mothers.

2. Her pregnant daughter’s boyfriend. If there’s anything less relevant to this election than Bristol Palin, it’s her boyfriend Levi Johnston. But again, family values conservatives seem to think this guy is a bigger hero than John McCain for standing by his woman. Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea to play up a guy who’s spent the bulk of the last few years playing a sport only Canadians watch. Can you say “out of touch?â€Â

1. Her shoes. I̢۪m going to follow Heather̢۪s lead on this one. This junk just doesn̢۪t matter.
Of course, now that you know what not to talk about when you talk about Sarah Palin, I wish you luck in trying to find anything else to say about her.