I HAVE SUCH AN ADDICTION.

I’m an “American Idolâ€Â-holic.

This fascination, I admit is a little weird since I despise most reality television. When I walk in the living room and see my parents watching “Survivorâ€Â or “Hell’s Kitchenâ€Â or whatever that English nanny show is called, I roll my eyes in disgust, just like I’m sure my boyfriend does when I tell him I’ll call him back after “Idol.â€Â

Clearly I̢۪m a hypocrite.

I may also be in denial, telling myself it’s more of a game show like “Jeopardy.â€Â But whatever excuses I make still don’t cover up the fact that I have a serious addiction problem.

I̢۪m not sure whether it̢۪s my own love of singing that attracts me to the reality show or witty bluntness embodied in Simon Cowell. Whatever it is though, I̢۪ve been a faithful viewer since season one with my eyes glued to the tube.

It may just be the raw emotions that come over me throughout the season. First comes the laughter I indulge in when hearing the William Hung-like auditions, when people who have been cheered for at the karaoke bar think they can sing the pop icons like Elton, Celine and Whitney and butcher them.

Then, after eliminations are made and 24 lucky talents remain, I connect with my favorite contestant or two. I read about them on the Internet and in People.

ln my defense, I can say I care about them more because I feel they are just like me and not a typical celebrity — at least not yet.

On elimination night I bite my nails with nervousness every week, cringing at the thought of my idol being sent home.

I remember screaming at the television screen last season when Melinda Doolittle went home, and the year before when Chris Daughtry was given the axe.

And it̢۪s not just connecting with one, it̢۪s also hating another.

Somehow, thinking someone on reality T.V. sucks makes me feel better about myself and there̢۪s nothing like laughing at the Sanjaya Malakars and plotting ways to injure the millions of people who voted for Taylor Hicks.

This year I feel more into the frenzy of “American Idolâ€Â than ever, acting as a fourth judge.

Consider a recent show, on Tuesday of last week.

I was pumped up as the show started with hopeful Michael Johns̢۪ jammed to Aerosmith.

The night dragged on a bit when Syesha sang a good rendition of season three “Idolâ€Â winner Fantasia’s “I Believe,â€Â but left Simon and Randy disappointed — because Fantasia was an estimated 10 times better.

Then Jason “Dreadlocksâ€Â Castro showed his true Jamacian side with a ukulele-accompanied “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.â€Â Add some ocean waves, sea breeze, sand and a piña colada served chilled in a coconut with an umbrella toothpick and I think it would have been perfect.

Then, my least favorite Carrie Underwood wannabe — Kristy Lee Cook. She chose a Martina McBride song — no surprise.

I wish she̢۪d wear something besides jeans and a sequined tank top though, but I guess if the outfit is getting her the votes, you stick with it.

Then my three favorites sang in a row.

It was awesome, although David Cook didn’t have his best performance. He’s still my number one choice though because of the first Beatles week when he rocked “Eleanor Rigby.â€Â Then “Irish girlâ€Â Carly Smithson sang an awesome Queen song, but looked a little too angry for the “Idol Gives Backâ€Â event.

Then there was the best of the night — David “Effieâ€Â Archuleta.

He sang “Angelsâ€Â as pure and beautifully as he did Lennon’s “Imagineâ€Â earlier in the top 24.

Last was Brooke White with “You’ve Got a Friend.â€Â I think I dozed off a little.

Despite the commentary, it̢۪s not all about the music, even though that̢۪s a nice thought.

It̢۪s actually the ability to call in and vote and be a part of something.

Just knowing my vote counts allows me to think more critically about the contestants because I know whoever wins I will be hearing on the radio for at least the next four years.

So there it is — I’m not addicted to “American Idolâ€Â as much as I am to my inner fantasies that it seems to appeal to, of the democracy I was taught in elementary school.

Maybe I am just off completely trying to justify an addiction.

Either way, I̢۪m just glad to see that Kristy Lee Cook was finally kicked off.