If I needed any proof that staying sober just makes sense, my roommates provided it.

They left a note four pages wide — they very cleverly stapled the sheets together — that they labeled a “Responce to the article in the Collegian.â€Â

The three of them signed it. There was even a mystery fourth roommate named Sal Guiterrez with a crossed-out name.

They left a postscript.

“Check my grammer and get back to me on that one, not!â€Â

Why would I when I could check the content, or, for that matter, the spelling?

The way I figure it, whether or not they were actually drunk at the time, this is the kind of statement that really looks clever when you̢۪re drunk, and only when you̢۪re drunk.

I̢۪ll take the moral high ground, and I pass the olive branch.

It’s too bad, then that their message to me was to “Keep Your Music Down!â€Â

They wrote that in large letters that crossed three of those four stapled-together sheets. It continued, in smaller lettering, “And alarm clock!â€Â

If only I didn̢۪t need my alarm clock. If only I didn̢۪t need to wake up for student teaching at o̢۪-dark-hundred. If only my life wasn̢۪t fruitlessly wasted, and if only I didn̢۪t make my feeble attempt to contribute to society.

I relish the privilege that is waking up at 6 a.m. for my shower and breakfast routine.

Even better, this particular love letter was passed along with a copy of the relevant column from The Collegian.

To my roommates’ credit, it was defaced only in the literal sense — the mugshot was lovingly carved out of the page — but two authors were sure to scrawl out of sentence or two of writing in the margin.

“It’s your Disney ‘Pocahontas’ soundtrack that sucks balls,â€Â said one.

Curious. I don’t remember the last time I really cranked up, “Mine, Mine, Mineâ€Â or “Colors of the Wind,â€Â or even listened to any of it at all, but maybe that’s because the “Pocahontasâ€Â soundtrack really does suck balls.

An astute observation, friend. I concede this point. Perhaps the saddest part is that you recognized it through two walls and a door.

But that̢۪s not all.

The following commenter said I was — for liking “Beauty and the Beast,â€Â to boot — that I was a misspelled female anatomy.

I hope that was a metaphor.

Naturally, despite any invective these note writers might have thrown in my direction, they themselves made a concession on their four-sheet demand.

“But you have been keeping it done lately.â€Â

Glad you noticed. I’ve been keeping it down for a good month or so before the first “Keep Your Music Down,â€Â much less the second. There’s a lesson here, I think.

Moral: Anger̢۪s relevance is fleeting. Especially when there̢۪s no spell check.

Fear not, roommates. I accept your surrender.

****

In other news: I want to know which three voted for Stephen Colbert; social networking mergers degenerates into a pissing contest; and blind gender politics and nepotism favored at Wellesley.