I WOULD LIKE TO apologize for my comments about the dorms less than two weeks ago.

In that column, I wrote about the experience of moving in early to the dorms, and I was critical of that part of my first few days.

If any reader meets anyone who likes moving, let me know. I could use a helping hand next May.

I apologize, even if there̢۪s no reason that dorm management or staff should take offense from that. I really shouldn̢۪t take a chance with people who have that rare power to annoy me.

After all, I heard through the grapevine that many dorm staff and management are pretty angry about what I wrote in that column.

I figure it’s probably the comparing the dorms to “seedy roach traps,â€Â adding that the comparison was unfair to the roach traps.

To clarify how that̢۪s possible, I went on to say that, in my opinion, cheekiness and cheeriness on the part of the staff make a dorm room so hard to put up with.

I also said that despite the staff̢۪s cheekiness and cheeriness, roaches are more reliable, knowledgeable and friendly than any staff member I̢۪ve ever met working behind the Atrium desk.

I̢۪m sorry. I should have explained why I have such particular distaste for people paid to be my friends, why I never trust them.

Rationally, I always worry that their paycheck might bounce. That prejudice is unfounded, and I apologize.

Of course, that̢۪s not to say I don̢۪t like people who work at University Courtyard. I have many friends who later decided to work there in some capacity.

Easily more than half of them constantly, privately complain about poor rapport with residents and fellow staff, and most are seriously frustrated by the sometimes unethical but somehow legal working conditions over past years and summers.

Just because I̢۪ve heard it every year I̢۪ve lived in the dorms doesn̢۪t mean I̢۪ll hear it this year.

Anyway, if it prepares them for corporate America, it̢۪s good for them.

In any case, I just chalk it up to how some of my friends working at the dorms are often immature and ill-prepared to work in a professional environment. Even though most of them aren̢۪t.

Most especially, I apologize to Deborah- — in a secretarial pool, there’s always someone named Deborah — who can’t read a copy of The Collegian, her favorite paper, without cursing my name.

For some reason, I have a feeling my apology lacks credibility. Maybe this will help.

With God as my witness, I didn’t laugh uproariously for several minutes when I heard — in the dining hall, no less — that I got someone childishly mad for my few comments that weren’t self-deprecating in a mostly-positive column.

I laughed uproariously for barely a few seconds.

Why would I tease the dorms when they̢۪re such an easy target?

I didn̢۪t say that there sure are a whole lot of freshmen that move out within or just after a single contracted school year.

I didn̢۪t say how, with a frugal budget, a semester of the dorms for a semester could instead pay for rent, utilities, food, gas, Internet, textbooks and a half of tuition for the same period, with a little left over.

I never complained about the cafeteria food, or how most of it — besides the fruit and vegetables — looks about as edible as it did four years ago, no matter the actual health content.

I could care less for these complaints.

I like the convenience of on-campus living almost as much as I like actual menu items like deep-fried burritos, all-you-can-eat donuts and greasy chorizo.

They̢۪re part of my college experience.

The dorms are great for people who don̢۪t like talking to anyone. The way I look at it, it̢۪s preparing me for the apartment experience.

Until then, I like the dorms. It has nothing to do with the people who work there.

Benjamin Baxter is a post-baccalaureate student working toward his high school credential in social science. This is his fourth straight year of living in the dorms and of making the same sandwich at the RDH.