By Jeff Christian and Darrell Copeland III
The Collegian Sports Editors

When it comes to March Madness, we usually don̢۪t have too much to complain about. However, with a disturbingly low amount of upsets, we couldn̢۪t help but feel slightly disappointed.

You see, in these upsets, last-second shots tend to decide the outcome. And while most people love to look at the guy in the spotlight, we love to look at the guy nobody cares about.

To say the least, we felt an obligation to honor our favorite March Madness hero.

So today, we salute you, Mr. Hold-everybody-else-on-the-bench back after a game-winning shot guy.

With time ticking down, and emotions at their boiling point, your ice-in-the-veins temperament keeps everything under control.
Subconsciously, you display your condor-like wingspan and take it upon yourself to prevent any overzealous teammates from prematurely running onto the court and getting a technical foul — as if they were going to anyway.

After sitting at the end of the bench for an entire game, you somehow manage to rise up to the occasion during crunch time, without even stretching — or taking off your warm-ups.

Should you fail at this ever-unimportant job, nothing will happen, and you can̢۪t have that, can you?

So sit back, relax and take pride in your never-underappreciated role, because the layups you miss in pre-game warmups don̢۪t count, but holding people back does.

With that dedication out of the way, we still need to highlight the rest of the tournament’s first two rounds. So without further hesitation …

Jeff Christian: Hey, Darrell, what was harder to watch, the first half of the Indiana-UCLA game, or Florida̢۪s Joakim Noah̢۪s smile?
Darrell Copeland III: To be honest, I didn̢۪t actually watch the Indiana-UCLA game, not that it matters, because Mr. Noah̢۪s smile (if you can call it that) wins going away. I was wondering where Tyler Hansbrough̢۪s mask ran off to.

JC: Darrell, if you had to be within close proximity to choice A, Noah̢۪s smile or choice B, a shirtless orange body-painted Tennessee head coach Bruce Pearl, which would you choose?

DCIII: Choice B! I was pretty much going to go with choice B no matter what, even if it was walking into a ring of radiation, like on 24 the other night.

JC: Pearl seems like he’s some sort of Will Ferrell-Tony Soprano hybrid. But now that we’ve got that settled, how intriguing is the Ohio State-Tennessee game? The Volunteers lost by two points when they traveled to Columbus earlier this year and unlike other teams they have the ability to use pick-and-roll to pull Greg Oden away from the basket.

DCIII: That’s a good word to describe all of the Sweet Sixteen games — intriguing. There is still time for an upset or two, which of course means that there is still time for our favorite March Madness hero to take center stage. We’ll be watching.