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<td width="343" valign="bottom"><p class="date"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="date" --><a href="default.html">11/03/03 • Vol.
127, No.30</a><!-- InstanceEndEditable --></p></td>
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<p><a href="just.jsp">Just when you thought it was safe to get back on
the sidewalk</a></p>
<p><a href="keep.jsp">Keep close watch on fredoms- lest they be lost</a></p>
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<h1>Just when you thought it was safe to get back on the sidewalk...</h1>
<p class="byline">By Gregg Deslauriers</p>
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<td><p><a href="Skateboard_opinion.jpg"><img src="Skateboard_opinion_t.jpg" alt="" name="Photo" width="150" height="172" border="0"></a></p>
<p class="byline">-Photo by John Rios</p>
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<p>Fresno State has a severe traffic problem. I’m not talking about
the wicked awesome job of civil engineering over by the 168 on ramp or
the three-second stop lights that surround it. Nor am I talking about
the gravel pit parking lots. This traffic jam happens on the walkways
and handi-ramps. I was standing in front of our newly corrected clock
tower the other day and I noticed that I probably couldn’t swing
a dead cat without hitting someone with a scooter, skateboard, golf cart
or bicycle (thankfully for everyone I didn’t have a deceased feline
with me at the time).</p>
<p> I realize all these transportation devices are necessary. The first
week of this semester I used my skateboard daily so I could avoid circling
the parking lot like an albino tiger stalking a magician clad in lacey
purple. I would park over by the Mosque and skate in. As I raced to class
I discovered I was not alone in this strategy and I uncovered some of
its problems.</p>
<p> As I raced to class, substituting adrenaline for morning coffee, I
came across several pedestrians. Since I have lived in California I have
noticed
that native Californians respond very well to the click-clack of approaching
urethane wheels. Years of conditioning have given the typical Californian
the ability to nearly unconsciously step nimbly to avoid skaters. </p>
<p> Unfortunately not everyone on campus is equipped with this expertise.
Often times I see panic in the eyes of approaching pedestrians. This
panic is often accompanied by a strange stutter step—an abrupt
stop or a dive to the side. Sometimes all three are combined into a dance
move that would make James Brown look like a two-bit hack.</p>
<p> Now, here is the important part. As a seasoned skater makes his or
her way across a crowded area they are choosing their line. This means
that
they take in the movement of all in the area and judge how to adjust
their speed and motion so as to harmlessly whisk by. Presumably so does
everyone else that is walking. When someone panics, stops or dances it
creates massive problem for the skater. One of many things can happen—accidentally
hitting Mr. or Ms. Happy Pants, accidentally hitting a trash can or bench,
and veering off the sidewalk into oncoming cars circling their parking
spot prey.</p>
<p> I’m not going to put all the blame on those who walk to class.
Some of the blame goes to “Tony Hawk Pro Skater” and the
brainiac that invented the frickin’ Razor scooter. Because of these
two cultural phenomena we are all privy to amateur rush hour on the footpaths.
I was careful to choose the word “seasoned” in the above
paragraph.</p>
<p> Inexperienced people and speed bearings mix like alcohol and firearms.
While seasoned skaters are choosing their line most other boneheads are
doing “If train ‘A’ leaves the station at 5:00 and
little Suzy is walking in front of it…” in their head. Meanwhile
Suzy’s praying that Johnny and his Christmas-present longboard
have spent more than three hours together.</p>
<p> I haven’t even mentioned all the additional bicycle and electric
cart traffic. Add in rollerbladers and it looks like the highway scene
from Matrix Reloaded. I wouldn’t be all that shocked if I saw bodies
pressed together at the fountain like a 20 car pile-up someday soon.
It’s amazing anyone makes it to class at all. And if they do they’re
probably late because all the clocks on campus were wrong.</p>
<p> —<strong>
This columnist can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu</strong></p>
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