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Sexy, sophisticated—but sometimes stoopid
Some of my biggest heroes are the women I know. It is a physiological fact that women are nearly 10 times smarter than men. They know how to make us do what they want. Plus, they’re hot. But let me tell you this much ladies, I am losing some of my faith in the abilities of your superhuman race. You do have a weakness. It happened after I found out FOX would be airing a Joe Millionaire sequel. Yeah, you know the show where a bunch of single women fought for the hand of a multi-millionaire—only to find out he was a bum off the streets. “ Joe Millionaire TWO?!” I thought. After some 40-million people watched the last season finale, how could they possibly dupe another group of women? The idea totally clashed with the second sentence of this column—a deeply-ingrained philosophy of mine. It hurt my feelings to think women might actually be as dumb as men. It’s like finding out Superman lost to Lex Luthor. It’s just not right. As it turns out, this time around FOX is using foreign women who’ve never heard of the show. I guess that’s OK, but it got me thinking. Why do women keep participating in these gold-digger shows? Why would someone knowingly broadcast to the nation her attempt to convince some rich guy to want to marry her? And it’s not just Joe Millionaire. There’s The Bachelor and For Love or Money. No matter what happens, it will only be the biggest embarrassment of her life. Remember the chick who went into the woods with Joe Millionaire last year? What a mistake. She didn’t even get the handsome reward. Joe and the woman he chose split a million dollars. The woman who made the infamously audible slurp, posed nude for playboy. Either way, they all got paid. And that’s what it’s all about. Women keep going on these shows for the love of the green—or the pink and green for anyone who’s seen the new twenties. Women seem like they’d do anything on television for a chance to get some money. It’s kind of like guys and boobs. Someone call the College Board and put it on next year’s SAT test. • Men are to boobs as women are to ____. a) food b) cats c) money d) chocolate The answer is c. And I’m not just demeaning women, so ladies, please keep your bras on and don’t stop shaving your arms. I love you all, and I still think you’re smarter than all of us. But I’m just disappointed… — This columnist can be reached at collegian@csufresno.edu |
